Page 41 of For Now

Just as I was receiving Samuel’s last text, I was startled by a knock at the door, causing me to drop my phone.Who on earth?The last time I got a surprise knock, it was Jeff. And I knew it wasn’t Samuel. I stood slowly and cautiously walked toward the door. I opened it just a bit to form a thin crack. Fucking David.You have got to be kiddingme.

I swung the door wide open and peered at him. If looks could kill, he’d have been dead on my front porch. “Well, well, well, look who decided to show up,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. I started tapping my foot wildly and waited for aresponse.

“Please, it’s not what you think. Let me explain,” Davidsaid.

“Oh, trust me, an explanation is all I want from you,” Isaid.

“Is she here?” heasked.

“Of course she’s here, but why should I let you see her?” Isnapped.

“Please,” hebegged.

I rolled my eyes and stepped back to let him inside. He looked over at Emma curled up on my couch. She was already holding her stomach. Her face was still very pink and puffy and there was dried mascara all down her cheeks. I hope he loathed himself forthis.

I sat down in the chair and watched, ready to stab him with the closest object I could get my hands on if I didn’t like what he was doing or saying. He sat down beside her on the couch and gently rubbed her cheek. Her eyes fluttered a bit and finally opened. The look on her face went from half asleep to confused in a second and I could see the tears in her eyes starting to well up again. I curled my fingers into the upholstery of the chairarm.

“You left,” shesaid.

“I know,” hesaid.

“Why?” she asked, choking backtears.

“I’ll admit I didn’t handle the news well. I completely freaked out. I needed some air,” he said, hanging hishead.

“When people want air, they go outside. They don’t get in their car and leave,” shesnapped.

“I know, I know. I didn’t mean it. I have no idea what I was thinking. I didn’t even know where I was going until I got there,” David said. He pulled a small box from his jacketpocket.

“What is it?” she asked as he handed it toher.

“Open it,” hesaid.

Emma pulled the ribbon strings off and opened the lid. She gasped and covered her mouth. Inside was a charm bracelet with a single charm dangling from it. It was a heart that said “Mom”.

“I know I shouldn’t have just left. I know that. I got in my car and started driving and didn’t even know why I was doing it. I just freaked out. I started wondering if I was going to be a good father, if I was going to do everything right. All these things started flying through my head and I just…I don’t know.” He dropped his chin and I could hear him start to cry a little, the way men do when they have genuinely messed somethingup.

Emma sat there for a moment, staring at the gift, staring at her crying husband. She pulled his chin up and looked him in the eyes. “Promise me you’ll never do that again,” shewhispered.

“I promise,” he said, wiping under hiseyes.

“It’s not just you and me anymore. We are going to be a family. A whole family,” she said, starting to smile. He reached over to hold her and I heard them both crying for amoment.

“David?” shesaid.

“Yes?” hesaid.

“You’re going to be an amazing father. I don’t want you to ever worry about that.” Shesmiled.

He smiled back and hugged her again. “Let’s go home,” hesaid.

I sat here, watching the whole thing. I started crying when they cried. I smiled when they smiled. Now I sat here, holding my stomach and not understanding what that kind of love felt like. I envied what they had in the best waypossible.

I stood to hug them goodbye and threatened David’s life one last time for good measure. I was glad it worked out, that their story had a happier ending than I had feared. I was excited for them. And at the same time, a tiny bit jealous of my friend. I don’t find jealousy to be as negative of an emotion as people claim. It wasn’t so much that it went unchecked. It wasn’t so much that it would cause any issues. But in the back of my mind, I remained slightly jealous of all she was about to experience. But Emma deserved this happiness. And I would be there for her every step of the way. I had sort of gotten lost in my thoughts when I heard my phone ding again.Oh, right, I dropped it on the floor.I started looking around where I thought it had landed and heard it ding again. Probably Samuel worried again, Ilaughed.

I got down on my hands and knees and reached under the edge of the couch. I felt it under my fingertips and sat back on the heels of my feet to read his messages. Only they weren’t fromhim.

Your friend looked much happier leaving than when shearrived.

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