Page 40 of For Now

“Okay, text me later?” I asked, hugging him around hisneck.

“Of course,” he said, raking his fingers through myhair.

As we pulled away from each other, he kissed me again.I wonder if everything is going to tingle every time he kisses me or if that will fade. I hope it doesn’tfade.

He closed the door behind him as he left and I returned my full attention to my friend, who despite her crying was smiling atme.

“What?” I said, knowing very well what wascoming.

“You like him,” sheteased.

“Um, yes,” Isaid.

“I’m glad you finally gave in to what you’re feeling. I thought I had my work cut out for me. And believe me, I was very prepared to put in the work,” she said, giggling as if she’d just caught me doodling his name on the back of my TrapperKeeper.

“Shut up,” I said,blushing.

“All I’m saying is that it’s nice to see you happy. I worry about you, you know,” shesaid.

“I know, E. I know,” I sighed. “But don’t get all excited and get your hopes up. This is the beginning. The beginning is always nice. It’s later that worries me,” Ifinished.

She tilted her head at me and gave me the half-puzzled, half-disappointed look. And I knew why. She was silently telling me that not everyone is a Jeff, and not everyone will hurt me, and Samuel shouldn’t have to pay for his mistakes. And she was right. Except it’s much easier to say those things than live them. It’s easy to romanticize a life when you have never lived it. That was the problem with society. They wanted to declare so matter-of-factly what the woman should have done, what she could have done, and were satisfied in stating she must not have hated it so much if she didn’t do something about it. It was alwaysherfault for not leaving. No one understood the strange sort of quiet bravery it took to stay and hope. She was right; no one should have to pay for the things Jeff did but sometimes there was nothing you could do about it. Sometimes it was up to everyone else to prove to you they weren’t more of the same. And there was nothing I could do aboutit.

* * *

The next thing I knew,I was being startled awake by the buzzing from my pocket. I rubbed my eyes, looking around to wake myself up. Emma and I had fallen asleep on the couch. I reached for my phone, fumbling a few times before bringing it up to see thescreen.

Samuel: Heyyou.

Samuel: Youokay?

I yawned. Poor guy was probably worried when I didn’trespond.

Me: Hey. I’m fine. I just dozed off on thecouch.

Samuel: Did you enjoy yournap?

Me: Yes, actually. Even if it was an accidentalnap.

Samuel: Good. How’sEmma?

Me: She’s okay. She fell asleep, too. Probably neededit.

Samuel: That’s good. I just wanted to check on you as promised. I’ll let you get back to your napping and whatnot, even though it’s a little late to go back to sleep now.Lol.

I checked the clock. I had slept for two hours and it was dinner timenow.

Me: Wow, I was really knocked out. Thank you for checking onus.

Samuel: Of course. Enjoy the rest of your evening, beautiful. Can I see youtomorrow?

Me: Ofcourse:)

Samuel: Mostexcellent.

Me: Lol, see you tomorrow.Dork.

Samuel: <3

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