Page 54 of For the Love of the Broken Man

“I’m sending you the fix, Kenneth. It should take care of the circular glitch, okay? I’ve run it through a simulation a few times, and it seems to work, but you let me know if it doesn’t.” Jase sent the email with an attachment regarding a security issue his coworker had discovered on a clients’ server.

“Got it, Jase. I’ll call you if there’s a problem.”

After ending the call, Jase pulled off the headset and turned off his computer. It was eight o’clock on Thursday night. He’d worked a very long day because the company he worked for had an office on the West Coast with issues. He didn’t get paid for overtime—salary work was hell.

Jase walked down the hallway of the three-bedroom house he’d rented after he’d relocated to Holloway. If anyone had told him he’d live in a rinky-dink, redneck town because he was in love with a cowboy, he’d have laughed at them when he was eighteen, but the curves, spirals, and slopes his life had taken weren’t anything he’d ever expected.

Grabbing a bottle of peach tea from the fridge, Jase chugged half of it. He was hungry, so he reached into the fridge again to retrieve the sandwich Kayley had made him earlier in the day when she got off the bus at his house.

Jase didn’t work between three and six so he could give Kayley all his attention. Danny went to meetings every day, and Jase was supportive of it because he wanted the man to have a decent shot at battling his demons.

Dan was trying his damnedest to be the best dad he could and balance the other things in his life—his job and his sobriety—and Jase applauded his efforts and accepted his place at the bottom of the list. Oh, he wanted whatever he could have of Danny because he’d been without him once and that hadn’t gone well at all, but he wouldn’t make demands that Danny wasn’t prepared to meet.

They had dinner together on Saturday nights, and they alternated between Danny’s place and Jase’s. Kayley seemed to be doing well with the sharing arrangement, and that was all they wanted. Her well-being was of the utmost importance to them both.

A knock on the door surprised him. He walked down the hallway to find Ethan Sachs on his porch. They’d worked together, briefly, at the Circle C and the Katydid. The last he’d heard about the guy, he was going to UT-Austin, which was a school Jase had declined.

“Oh, hey! How are you doing, Ethan? Come on in.” Jase wasn’t quite sure what the guy was doing at his door. It was the weekend before Halloween, and Jase thought he’d heard from Katie that the kid was a senior in college. He should be partying his ass off, just as Jase had done when he was in school in Georgia.

The two of them went into the house and ended up in the kitchen. Jase felt it was safer because the light was brighter, and Ethan was damn good looking. Jase couldn’t remember the last time he’d had any physical contact with anyone, but the good-looking guy in front of him was making him do the math in his head.

“How’s Texas? I hated living down there,” Jase said as they sat down at the table.

“I like it well enough. How the hell did you lap me in college and get out before me?” Ethan asked as he pulled out a round container of Copenhagen smokeless tobacco, holding it up to Jase.

Jase knew the look on his face far too well. “Look, I get grossed out by guys who do that so if you need to, this will be a short visit, okay? I’m still in love with Danny, and we’re taking things slow. If you’re looking to get fucked or to fuck? I’m not your guy, Ethan. I can be your friend, but that’s it.” Jase made quick work of the rejection. Nobody liked it, and he didn’t like doing it.

He watched as Ethan picked up one of the napkins in the holder and cleaned out the chew in his jaw. Jase was grateful because it made him sick to his stomach to see anyone use it.

Jase rose from the chair to offer Ethan a bottle of water and pointed to the sink for him to rinse his mouth. After the handsome young man sat down at the table, Ethan seemed to settle into something he needed to get off his chest.

“How’d so many of us queers end up at that ranch?” Ethan pulled a ring off his finger and spun it around, not looking at Jase.

“Well, I was only there for about an hour, total, but if you’re asking about how we all ended up in the family, I’d say it’s by God’s grace. Many people believe we’re Satan’s spawn, and I can’t say there weren’t times when I wondered about it myself, but nobody likes a self-hating queer. However, I’ve been going to church at Good Shepherd and the pastor is great and not a homophobe.

“The way he explains things is kind of beautiful. The Old Testament of the Bible has verses in Leviticus many people interpret to mean all of us homos are on the bullet train to hell, but that’s only one, very misguided interpretation of the verses.”

Jase studied Ethan to see if anything he’d said gave the guy any reassurance. Ethan was definitely thinking about something.

“You busy on Sunday morning? I can pick you up for church, and we can go to the diner for breakfast after?” Jase added, “This isn’t a date. We’re just becoming friends, okay? I mean, if your boyfriend would be okay with it.”

He saw Ethan’s face flush and a slow smile finally appear. “God, I wish he’d come home with me for the weekend. He’s gorgeous, and he hates that I dip, so I’ve been tryin’ to quit, but I was nervous about comin’ here because I needed someone to talk to about some shit.

“My guy’s name is Troy, and his birthday is this weekend. I invited him to come home with me to meet my parents, and I told him we’d celebrate his birthday here with friends, but he said no. He doesn’t want to meet my parents because he’s decided we’re in a relationship right now because it’s convenient for me. He believes when I graduate, I’ll leave him behind without lookin’ back.”

Ah, insecurity. Jase knew that feeling. “What’s he doing since he turned you down?”

“He stayed in Austin to party with his friends, and I’m havin’ a hard time not bein’ pissed he wouldn’t have rather spent his birthday with me. He’s acting like a spoiled brat, even though he’s turnin’ twenty. I don’t know what the fuck to do. Pretty stupid of me to come here, I guess.” Ethan slid the ring back on his finger.

Jase chuckled. “Now, stop it. Tell me why you were attracted to him in the first place.”

Ethan Sachs ended up being a pretty deep guy, much to Jase’s surprise. He was taking philosophy classes as well as business classes, and the two men sat together in the living room of Jase’s house until three o’clock in the morning, discussing their college experiences.

Jase learned Ethan had enjoyed a bit of the herb over his time, but he was finished with it, as well, because he was ready to grow up and take his future seriously. Jase had been up front with Ethan regarding how much he loved Danny and how hard it was for the two of them to try to figure things out because Danny had struggles Jase had never experienced.

Jase glanced at his phone and saw it was late. “You might as well stay. I’ve got a spare room if you don’t mind sleeping on Kayley’s pink and green bedding.”

Ethan laughed. “I don’t mind at all, Jase. I’d like to give that church a chance on Sunday if you don’t mind. I’d like to hear this preacher. Mom and Dad were Baptists till they found out they had a queer son, so they switched to the Lutheran church, but it’s not exactly gay-friendly, if ya know what I mean.”

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