Page 134 of Ruthless Kings of Havoc

“I did. I still do. Just haven’t been consistent for obvious reasons, but getting massages after those was too tricky. Plus, when they know you’re a fighter, they want to charge you more, and I didn’t want to spend that money.”

“Despite knowing the potential you carry in this world, you didn’t abuse the idea of using your money for things you deserve?” he summarizes.

“I guess.” I never allowed myself to think about it long enough. “When you know there’s this hanging debt over your head, what will you do? Continue to spend and waste your money so you can feel good in the moment. It didn’t make sense to me because it felt so… fake. I didn’t want to be that. Be someone who looks flawless and free, spending money unnecessarily for all these luxuries when I’m just a nobody in this society. It would give off a pampered princess with zero money in the bank vibes, and aside from basic skincare and makeup, I didn’t see the need.”

I lean my head back so it rests against the bark of the tree.

“I invested in learning to fight because I never wanted to be in a situation where I can’t give my all. Domino put me in those situations plenty of times with his entourage of bullies. When I finally escaped his clutches, I was determined to be strong. I may not look it with the weight loss, but I enjoyed my physique. Not too big and muscular but a bit curvy with enough muscledefinition to prove I don’t just sit at the spa and enjoy this week of social gossip.”

“You need to get back to it,” he encourages. “And include massages.”

He hits another tense point that makes me moan.

“Fuck,” he’s the one to curse. “Precious. You can’t be moaning like that so early in the day.”

I snicker at that because he sounds like a guy who’s been caught masturbating or something.

“Then stop doing such a good job,” I whine and try to wiggle away, but he has his grip on me.

“Two minutes more.”

“You’ve been keeping count?”

“When you enter any environment and have a moment of silence, you wait five minutes,” he coaches surprisingly. “When the five minutes is up, you can move to your next location. It reduces the risk of being ambushed.”

“You have intriguing techniques,” I confess. “Is that why you seem very observant and quiet?”

“Do I project that?”

“A little,” I admit. “It’s not bad. Kinda hot. Just wondered if you did that because you like being in control of your surroundings at all times or were expecting something to go wrong.”

“A bit of both,” he reveals. “If I have control of my surroundings, I can alter any situation to be in my favor. Without observations and self-control, you’ll lose sight of the warning signs that flicker before chaos erupts.”

“That makes sense,” I agree. “Like when you’re in the ring facing an opponent.”

“Mhmm.” His hands grip me a little too hard, but I force myself to stay still until I have to speak up.

“Matteo… too strong.”

He eases off immediately. “Sorry, Precious.”

“What’s your outlet?” I question him.

“Outlet?”

“Yes.” He lets go of my shoulders and proceeds to move so he’s in front of me. I further lean against the tree and lower down so I can sit on the patch of grass at the base of the tree. Lifting my legs up so I can rest my arms on my knees, I look up to him.

“What do you do to release all the havoc deep inside?”

“The havoc deep inside,” he quietly repeats as his eyes seem to darken at my words.

“Some people go to the gym,” I offer. “No matter what. Rain or shine. The gym is a must to quiet the noise up here.” I tap my right temple. “To make it all go shhh.”

He understands from how he’s peering down at me; his expression is neutral, but his eyes portray another story. A conflict of emotions.

Dangerously fighting not to reveal how he’s feeling.

“So, what gets your mind to ‘shhh’?” I question and wait.

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