Page 135 of Ruthless Kings of Havoc

And wait.

And wait some more.

With Matteo, playing the waiting game and not backing down is how you get real answers with him.Confessions he wouldn’t tell just anyone.I know I’m pushing boundaries. Boundaries I’m positive no female has dared try with him, but these feelings of need that bubble inside me when it comes to Matteo don’t have the level of patience I had with the others.

With Zander, he’s a high we both enjoy riding.

With Ares, he’s the calm of peace with high and low tides.

With Aries, he’s a lighthouse that peers from afar but admires closely when the tides hit territory.

But with Matteo, he’s a brewing hurricane, just waiting to hit that one place that may be able to withstand the storm from beginning… to end.

“Pleasure,” he says the word slowly and seemingly swallows. “Violence.”

“Pain and pleasure,” I hum quietly as if the two are such a forbidden combination to speak into existence. “The receiver or bringer?”

His mind is ticking, his breaths slightly uneven. His composure is slipping, piece by piece. I have to wrangle him a little more.

Let me in, my Ruthless King.

To do that, I need to do what a Ruthless Maiden is meant to achieve, to fulfill one of my many duties.

Appease my King.

“Both.”

It was hard for him to admit that. I wonder if he’s afraid I’ll run for the hills. That I project a strong front, but I’m weak when confronted with a challenge.

He could also be wondering if I have an ulterior motive. I’m sure plenty of women have tried with him. Fought to be the apple of his eye, only for some interior motive like money, power, or fame.

Opportunities are tempting, but unlike how I fought to gain the opportunity to become a Ruthless Maiden, I don’t have that same mindset with Matteo.

With him, everything is different.

Fast, challenging, unpredictable, and… fresh?

The better word could be ‘new’ because what is it like to meet a man with so much masculine demeanor mixed with a protective exterior that you feel the tempting desire to be feminine?

To dwell in your womanhood and pleasure him in a rewarding manner without being forced to. I want to get his mind off this anxious, riddled morning. To let him stop thinkingof all the sins he commits just walking in the same space as me. I could see it when he shot that man in the head three times.

How his thoughts riddled him and how fast he had to conceal it from the world.

I crave to help him unravel. Yearn to give him a moment of relief without some form of justification or resentment. I want to please him, not just as a Ruthless Maiden, but as a woman who seeks to aid her man.

Subconsciously, I may be taking the idea of marrying this man far too seriously.

It’s all talk. He hasn’t proposed with a ring of some sort. The world of judgmental royals can gossip all they want, but we’re not officially engaged in any way.

And yet…

My mind keeps reminding me that this man is one of his words. A man who enjoys walking down the burning path he creates without remorse and brings anyone down with him.

A man who’d gladly lay a ring on my finger if it gave me another layer of protection in this menacing world.

“Then what would my Ruthless King want in this instance?” I whisper the offering like I’m presenting him with three wishes. “Does he need a bit of relief to make the noise pause?”

He holds his breath, then inhales when I push forward so I can crawl to his feet until I’m on my knees before him, awaiting his approval.

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