My heart hurt. Maybe I’d gotten too close to the feelings they rained down on me last night, but I wanted to know who they were. I thought for sure they’d tell me when it was over and maybe…hell, I didn’t know.
What would I have even done if they said they wanted to do it again?
Agree?
Try to have a relationship with three men I didn’t even know?
I was absurd for even thinking the thought. It wasn’t within the realm of possibilities. With that storm cloud hanging over my head, I pulled my phone out and called for an Uber. No one was downstairs, so I rushed to the front door and went outside, breathing in a deep breath of fresh air.
I thought it would help, but it didn’t. All I felt was this pain in my chest where all the emotions tumbled clumsily against one another with no direction to really go.
If I thought doing this would help me, I was wrong.
Instead, all I wanted to know now was who the guys were who had changed me overnight.
I sleptthe rest of the weekend away. My body was hurting so much that each move made me groan. Caleb had texted me on Sunday to ask me how my weekend was, but I’d only sent him a thumbs up.
I took Monday off from classes. I was still hurting, but I also felt weird going to class, knowing that I could be passing the guys at any given time. I didn’t know if they’d taken my mask off to look at my face, so that gave me a fair bit of anxiety. I figured I’d give it a few days to die down though, just in case.
A knock on my door sounded out, making me groan. Olivia had texted me to tell me white suit mask guy and her had hooked up Saturday night after she’d hooked up with one of the golden masks in her room. She’d given white suit her information and he’d contacted her.
Cameron Wilson was his name.
I knew him. He was good looking and played on the football team. He was definitely a catch.
Lucky Liv.
She’d told me they’d been inseparable since Saturday, so I knew it wasn’t her.
With a grumble, I forced myself out of bed and went to my door and cracked it open. Caleb peered back at me. Sighing, I fully unlatched the door and stepped aside for him to come in.
“You OK?” His gaze swept over me, so much concern on his handsome face it made my stomach twist.
My throat was tight. My eyes burned.
Truth of the matter was, I wasn’t OK. Something had changed that night with those three men. I didn’t know how to process any of it. I wanted more. I was scared of more. I’d lost my mind.
I shook my head, a tear slipping down my cheek.
“Lil bit,” Caleb murmured, wincing. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
He took my hand and led me to the couch where he pulled me down next to him.
“I-I don’t know. I-I thought this would be a good idea, but it’s the worst,” I finally sputtered.
He reached out and thumbed my tears away.
“Why is it the worst?”
I shook my head and stared down at my hands in my lap.
“I’m confused,” I finally whispered.
“What are you confused about?” He rested his hand over mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. Why was Caleb all that was good in the world? It hurt me to know I’d done what I’d done. Anything I could have had with him seemed silly now. I didn’t even know why.
Maybe I feared if I went for it with Caleb, he’d not live up to the night I’d had with the three guys. I owed Caleb my all, not just part of me.
And then there was Jace and Damien. Both pissed me off, but god, all the what ifs kept racing through my head.