Page 64 of Sinful

Once she was firmly back on her feet, I released her arm, grateful she hadn’t tried to tug away from me. We continued in silence to the house. When we arrived, I inserted the key I still had and opened the door. She stepped inside, me behind her, and I closed us in.

Quickly, she dropped her bag to the floor and removed her jacket before going to the couch where she sat and stared straight ahead.

I didn’t really know what to do, so I went and sat on the L section of the couch.

“Are you hungry?” I finally asked.

She bit her bottom lip but remained quiet.

Fuck it. She had to be hungry.

I got up and went to the kitchen. I’d lived here for a good portion of my life, so it wasn’t hard to find shit. Not knowing what she liked to eat, I stared down at a box of plain macaroni noodles before checking the fridge to find a various assortment of cheeses and milk. Coming to a decision, I pulled a pot out of the cupboard, filled it with water, and put it on the stove.

From my view in the open kitchen, I could see she’d pulled her books out of her bag and was working on her homework.

Such a good girl.

I pushed that thought out of my head. Homework and I didn’t mix. Fuck that shit. I wasn’t going to go out into the world and be a scholar. Making it through was based on my intimidation factor and my role as a watcher. Of course, that may not work so well for me now in that department. It didn’t matter. The only way out of Chapel Crest was to pass. Classes. Therapy. Bible studies. All of it. Or death. Judging by how shit had gone down for me throughout my life, I was certain Death had long forgotten me.

I stayed in the kitchen, leaving Sirena to her work. When the water boiled, I put the noodles in, and when it was ready, I made the homemade macaroni and cheese for her. I never cooked around the guys. Ashes typically was the cook. He was a decent cook. Sometimes, he burned things just to see how many flames he could create. One time, when I’d asked Church why we let him near the stove, he’d smirked and said it was good tolerance building for Ashes.

Honestly, I was surprised Ashes hadn’t burned the house down long ago. I knew he struggled with his pyromania daily. In any other facility, they’d have taken his lighter away from him. But here? I think they wanted the excuse to corner him.

After I pulled the food from the oven, I made Sirena and myself each a plate and brought them both out to the living room. I placed the food in front of her on the coffee table.

She looked up at me in surprise, those colorful eyes of hers sending a jolt right through my heart.

“I made you something to eat,” I muttered. “I figured you might be hungry.”

Surprisingly, she closed her book and picked up the plate. A tiny part of me thought she might shun my attempt and go without, but I was happy when she lifted the fork to her lips, all the cheesy goodness on display.

With my breath held, I waited for her verdict. I hadn’t cooked in ages. When I was a kid, I’d cook with my mom. That shit went to hell, though, after my old man shot me.

Another sour memory I pushed away.

The tiniest moan slipped past her lips as she chewed and then swallowed.

“Do you like it?” I sounded far too eager for her approval. Desperate, even. I hated that, but fuck it. There it was.

While she never really said shit to me or communicated, it was when her gaze met mine, and that tiny smile graced her pretty face that I knew that was it. I was done for. If I had anything holding me back before about pleasing her, it was gone in that moment.

That smile. The little bit of sparkle in her sad, pretty eyes. All I wanted to do was make her smile for the rest of her days.

I couldn’t, though.

I wasn’t that sort of guy. The only thing I was good at was fucking everything up.

All the potential happiness whooshed out of my body at the thought that I’d never be good enough for her. That I didn’t deserve her or any bit of happiness. My name was Sin, for fuck’s sake. That didn’t exactly inspire good things.

I looked down at my plate still on the coffee table, lost in my miserable thoughts.

It was when the weight of someone next to me made me realize she’d moved to sit beside me.

I looked over at her, my heart in my throat.

So much innocence greeted me. Sweetness. Gentleness.

I swallowed hard as she leaned forward, picked up my plate, and handed it to me. Gingerly, I took it from her, my fingers brushing along hers for but a moment. A moment that made my heart leap higher and the flames slowly building in my soul spark brighter.

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