Page 75 of Ashes

“Help me, Dante. Please,” I managed to say.

He lay beside me and cradled my face as I panted.

“It’s OK. I’m here. Everything is OK. You’re safe.”

“I-I can’t—”

“Fuck you, you can,” he said in a fierce growl. “You’re not going to fucking leave me too, Valentine. Get your shit together.”

I sucked in breath after breath, desperate to not disappoint him. He was all I had right now.

“Remember what we do when we can’t breathe?”

“We d-do it anyway,” I said.

“That’s right. We fucking do it anyway.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me against his body as I tried to get my shit together.

“Do you need fire? It’s been too long,” he murmured.

“Y-yes.”

“OK. Try to calm down. I’m going to get dressed. I’ll take you to the barrels.”

I said nothing as I continued to focus on keeping myself in check. Church kissed my forehead fiercely before he released me and slid out of bed.

I was too focused on holding myself together to hear what he was doing. A moment later, his hands were in mine as he helped me out of bed and led me to my room.

Quickly, he pulled a hoodie over my head as I tried to sit on my mattress. My body wasn’t having it though. I needed to go. I needed air. I felt like I was suffocating in this madness. My hands wouldn’t stop trembling.

Church slid my shoes on my feet before tugging me upright and leading me out of the room and to the front door.

“What’s going on?” Sin asked, coming through the front door, wearing his jacket.

“We need some therapy,” Church muttered, grabbing my coat and helping me into it.

Sin’s gray eyes swept over me, a pained look on his face. He reached for my hand.

“Come on, Asher,” he said softly. “Let’s go.”

I took his hand and followed him out of the house while Church locked the door behind us. Within minutes, we were cruising down the road in Church’s new Bronco, the top peeled back and the cool air hitting my face.

No one spoke as we drove.

My chest ached with the cool night air filling my lungs. My body was shaking, my mind racing.

Hurry. Please hurry.

When we got to the spot where my barrels were, Sin helped me out while Church grabbed my stuff from the back. He placed it at my feet and pushed my lighter into my hand.

“Burn it all,” he murmured.

I swallowed hard and pushed past him.

I squeezed lighter fluid into the barrel then lit it while tears streaked down my cheeks and flames licked toward the sky. I watched them for several long minutes, my breathing ragged, until I was finally able to focus.

Within minutes, I’d gathered more kindling to feed the flames, urging them higher into the night sky. This was the middle of nowhere, so we were safe. The heat from the fire warmed me, calming my heart and soul.

I stared into the flames, my heaven flashing through my mind.Her soft lips. Her smile. The way it felt when she touched me.

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