Page 73 of Ashes

“A-amen.” I shook violently.

“Get him up,” Sully demanded.

Wards came into the room and sat me up. One shoved a basin beneath my face just before I heaved violently, emptying my guts into it.

I quaked, shivering at the cool air. But I was burning inside like I was on fire. My throat ached like hot pokers were digging through it.

Tears streamed down my face as water was pressed to my lips. I drank hungrily until my belly was full. Someone wiped my mouth.

“You’re unwell, Malachi,” Sully said softly. “You know that right?”

“W-who are the men in masks?” I whispered. “Why are they hurting me?”

“They’re your demons.” He cradled my face. “They’re fighting back. They don’t want to leave your body. There’s a war within you. You just need to submit.”

“To who?” I asked, my body continuing to quiver.

“To God. To me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “If you submit to me, I can save your soul. I can make sure God loves you. That he forgives you. Wouldn’t you like that, Malachi? To be in His grace? To not feel pain anymore? To be happy?”

“How?” I was done. I was ready for these feelings to leave me. For this pain to go away. I just wanted to go home. I wanted my friends. My girl. I wanted to sleep. Fuck. I wanted to sleep forever.

“By doing what you’re told. By accepting me. Let me in. You keep fighting me. Stop fighting me. You’ve done terrible things. God wants to save you. He’s using me to do it. You just need to accept me into your heart. Your mind. Let me guide you.”

I wept softly. Pain ebbed through me like an electric current. I ground my teeth so hard I feared they’d snap off and I’d choke on them.

Please, Mama. Make the pain stop. I hurt. I hurt so much. Please. . .

“The pain will go away if you let me in. You’re such a strong boy. Defiant. Beautiful. Your skin is a beautiful canvas that you’ve destroyed with your markings. It’s the first way to make this end.”

“What do I do?” I peered at him through bleary eyes. I wanted this ache to go away. I wanted the drug he’d given me. I wanted my freedom. I just wanted to be normal.

“You cut away what burdens you,” he said in a soft voice that sent chills over me. “Make the first cut. To be free. Carve the sins from your body.”

Something cold was pushed into the palm of my hand.

“I’ll stay with you to make sure you’re safe from the demons.”

I cried, my chest throbbing.

“Freedom is only a slice away, Malachi. Cut the demons out of your life. Be free. Be happy. Submit to me. Prove you want your sanity, and I’ll give you a life you never dreamed possible. Where you don’t have to think anymore. Where you aren’t haunted. Where you aren’t sad.”

Tears leaked out of my eyes and fell onto my lap as I stared down at blade he’d given me. He was asking me to cut parts of my skin off. To remove my tattoos as punishment for letting the demons in.

My entire body was tatted. Even spots on my face. And he wanted me to cut them away?

His warm fingers met my temple. “Start here.”

“Do you promise the pain will stop?” I gasped as it intensified like it had a mind of its own and knew I was trying to expel it from my body.

I fell back onto the bed, my body stiffening as my misery grew.

A scream tore from my lips as my chest heaved.

I thrashed violently on the hard mattress, the pain turning into fire, incinerating my insides. Cold hands pressed me down as I ground my teeth painfully hard. My jaw ached.

Mama. Please. Help me. HELP ME!

“No one is coming to save you, Malachi,” Sully’s voice broke through the agony. “You’re a wicked boy who needs to prove himself. Who needs to show me and God what your freedom means to you. The pain will go away once you submit. Your reward will be your angel. Don’t you want to see her again? I promise. Rid your body of your demons first.”

---