Page 159 of Ashes

“You’ve been distant since she was hurt. Do you want to talk about it?”

He smoked some more as Stitches and Ashes helped Cady with decorations.

“Yes. I-I want to talk to you, but I can’t. Not right now.” He hung his head. “Fuck, man. Just. . . Fuck. It’s hard for me.”

“Well, we’re here when you’re ready.” I pushed away from the railing. “It’s better to admit your faults before someone finds them. That always ends badly.”

He nodded tightly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I know.”

“Good. Don’t forget it.” I left him and went back to helping get shit ready for tonight. I adored this party every year. Halloween was my favorite, but tonight would be something different.

Tonight would be about truths and what fucking happens when you failed to tell them.

I sent out a silent prayer to whoever the hell was listening that it wasn’t Sin.

But if it was, I was ready.

Punishment wasn’t just for outsiders.

Sin would suffer if I got my suspicions confirmed. He could fucking bank on that.

STITCHES

Itied the noose around my neck and let it hang loosely down my bare, tatted chest as I stared at myself in the mirror. I didn’t even need to wear makeup. The dark circles beneath my eyes already made me look like I was dead.

Sleep kept evading me. All I could think about was my sweet angel getting fucked in front of a roomful of twisted bastards and how I’d had a hand in it.

I’d never be able to forgive myself for being so fucking weak when she’d needed me most.

I hadn’t protected her the way she deserved, and for that, I needed to repent.

A tear slid down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away. The music was already pounding out around me. We had this party every year. They always let us. Like anyone was brave enough to tell us no.

Or at least that was what I’d always thought.

Now, I assumed Church just got us special privileges because of our father and no one wanting to tangle with Everett. Who knew. It was up in the air. It could all just be some elaborate fucking way for Everett to dig his claws deeper into Church. Like give him free rein to show him what power was like so he’d appreciate it and bow to Everett’s will once everything was taken away.

I’d become paranoid lately.

It wasn’t hard to see why when one becomes a player in a game ofwho can fuck whothe worst.

All I knew was that once I was given the chance, I was going to tear Sully’s head off his fucking shoulders and feed his dick to Everett. . . . after I’d made him watch me tear apart whoever was behind that mirror.

I wasn’t going to let some sick assholes run around with the memory of my angel in their head like that. Not. Fucking. Happening.

I knew I couldn’t stay holed up in my room all night. Figured I’d go as what should have been. Me with a noose around my neck and completely dead. I wasn’t far off. I was definitely dead inside now.

The thought of being face to face with angel after the shit we’d been through made me sick. My biggest fear was that she hated me for all of it. I was the one to undress her. To hold her there. I was to blame. I hated myself. Fuck, I hated myself. The very real idea of lashing my noose back to the bar in my closet played on repeat in my head.

“Stitches? You coming?” Ashes stepped into my room in a fireman’s uniform. Chest bare with a fireman jacket and pants on.

I let out a soft laugh. “You’re going to drive the remaining sanity out of all the bitches coming tonight.”

He offered me a sheepish grin. “The only girl I care about is Sirena. The rest can go to hell for all I give a shit.”

“Well, you look good. She’ll love it.”

“I hope so. I feel sort of dumb though. Like I’m a thirst trap or some shit.”

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