Page 136 of Ashes

And now here we were.

Fucked.

We aren’t. You know we aren’t. When have we ever been fucked?

Shut up.

I didn’t want to do that to her either. Not like that. I’m a monster, but I’m not that fucked-up. I joke to take the pressure off. You know that.

I rubbed my eyes. I hadn’t been around nearly as much as I should have. The stress from the entire thing was driving me over the edge. I was barely hanging on at this point.

Answer me. You know I didn’t want it, right? You believe me?

Of course, I believe you. That doesn’t make me any less pissed off that it happened though. And what about Rinny? She was hurt. You fucked her. . .

She understood. She didn’t fight it. Her understanding of how to break free was there. When she opens those eyes we love so much, you’ll see. You’ll see. You already know. You see what I see. What is to come. What has passed. You know this is how it must be.

I didn’t know you’d be fucking her!

I was as gentle as I could be. I tried.

I don’t want to talk about this anymore. We’ll chat later.

Of course, we will. Brother.

I rubbed my temples to clear my head, breaking the voice off from my mind. Quickly, I got up and took a shower in the small, attached bathroom. When I came out. Sirena was still asleep, her arm curled around her old doll that I’d tucked in bed with her. I dressed quickly and sat on the edge of the bed, not really knowing what else I could do.

A soft knock had me rising to answer the door.

I cracked it open to see Cody peering back at me.

“I got the food you asked for.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, opening the door wider for him.

He handed me a bag I assumed was filled with our breakfast.

He peered past me to the bed. “How is she?”

I glanced back to see she hadn’t moved. “Alive.”

He nodded grimly. “Aren’t you scared the watchers are going to come for you like they did to Riley? Church and Ashes fucked him up.”

“The watchers are the least of my concerns. Thank you for the food.”

Cody backed away, a grim expression on his face.

I closed the door, not wanting that grim feeling to cling to me. Quietly, I went back to the edge of the bed and sat down. I placed the bag on my other side as I stared down at Sirena.

MyRinny.

Our forever girl.

At least that was what Asylum said about her.

He liked to argue that he saw her first. The only difference just happened to be I was the sane one who got to make first contact while he simply watched from the prison we kept him locked him.

I wasn’t sure if the story would’ve been different if he would’ve met her first. I knew he tried to say he claimed her first. Ignoring that bit helped keep me calm because in my mind, she was always mine and always would be.

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