Page 41 of Ashes

“What do I do?” I choked out. “Siren. Please.”

“Sinful,” she whispered in that tiny, sweet voice.

“Siren,” I answered back thickly. “Punish me. Please, fucking punish me and put me out of my misery.”

“Sinful,” she said again.

“Yes,” I whispered to her. “I’m Sinful. I’m a monster.”

I brought her cold hand to my lips and kissed it. My tears dripped onto her knuckles. I sniffled as I stared down at her before I placed her hand on her stomach and leaned down.

Gently, I swept my lips over hers.

“Siren,” I said softly against her lips. “Please. Put me out of my misery.”

I didn’t know what I meant by my plea. I just knew I wanted it to end. I wanted to be free of the guilt and regret. I wanted to see her big, luminous eyes peering back at me from Church’s side. I wanted to hold her and taste her and tell her how fucking sorry I was for ruining everything.

Instead, my tears trickled onto her cool, porcelain-like skin as I pressed my lips harder to hers, desperation soaring through me in the hopes she’d snap out of it and slap me across the face.

Nothing.

She remained unmoving beneath me.

I pulled away from her and wiped my tears gently from her face.

And a single, solitary tear trailed from the corner of her eye. My heart caught in my chest.

She was in there.

She was fighting. She was trying.

I swallowed thickly and backed away from her.

“I’ll await your return,” I said softly. “I’ll await my punishment.”

I wiped my eyes again and left the room.

Life would only get harder now.

But I had no one to blame but myself.

CHURCH

Sin didn’t stop.

He pushed past us as he left her room and strode to the lobby without looking back.

“He’s struggling,” Ashes murmured.

I nodded. “He is, but it’s not an excuse to be a dickhead. We’re all struggling.”

Ashes said nothing, but he blew out a breath. “I’ll go talk to him. I’ll see you back at the house, OK?”

“Yeah,” I said, watching him go.

I didn’t know what the fuck to do with Sin. He always got caught up in his emotions, or lack thereof. It had never been this bad before. He didn’t need to tell me he cared because I saw just how much he did with his reactions to all of this.

He never did well with emotional conflict.

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