Page 40 of Ashes

“We’ve been through worse,” I said.

“We’ve always come out on top. I’m not big on faith, Asher, but I think that’s all we have right now.” His green eyes glimmered with his sadness.

“We’ll find out who helped do this to her,” I said, my voice low, as I stared back at him.

“And then we’ll punish the motherfucker.”

“Or kill him,” I finished.

A glint of darkness flashed through Church’s eyes. “Or kill him. I know a good hiding spot for the bodies.”

“I know a better one,” I whispered, looking at the closed door to Sirena’s room. “You can’t find a body when it’s ash on the wind.”

Church chuckled softly and clapped me on the shoulder. “Let’s get to work then, brother.”

Let’s get to fucking work.

SIN

Iapproached her bed, my heart in my throat. The last thing I wanted to be was in the fucking room with her.

But it was the only place I wanted to be too.

I hated the feelings that kept crashing into one another in my chest. Hearing her voice calling meSinfulwas stuck on repeat in my head. It was my own silent hell as I wrestled with the demons of what I’d done to her. Knowing I was the reason she was suffering more now, locked in a prison going through God only knew what.

And if Dante and the guys found out. . . well, it was safe to say I’d have a whole host of new problems to deal with.

I sank down onto the chair beside her bed. She stared up at the ceiling. She didn’t move. Her chest rose and fell, but if I couldn’t see it with my own eyes, I’d think she was dead. Her eyes, which had once been so vibrant, were dull and lifeless now.

“I broke you,” I whispered. “Fuck, siren.”

She flinched at the sound of my voice.

I deserved it. If she even made it out of this, I’d never have a chance with her.

You don’t want one. You don’t deserve one. Look what happens whenever you love someone.

Love.

I barely knew her.

But fuck, I felt something I couldn’t deny.

Something which made me desperate and terrified.

Something which made me do stupid shit I knew I couldn’t come back from. From the moment I’d first seen her, I knew I was in trouble.

I blinked back my tears.

What the fuck, Sinclair?

I reached for her hand, fumbling with it when I realized how cold it was.

“I’m fucked-up,” I whispered. “Siren. I-I made a mistake. Now you’re hurting. I just want this to be over. I don’t want you to hurt. Fuck, I don’t. I-I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could change the things I’ve done. I’m a sinner, and you’re a saint. I’m scared, siren. I’m fucking terrified.” I breathed out, tears slipping down my cheeks. “But I’ll accept whatever punishment you deem fit for me because I know I deserve it. Is this how you’re doing it? By leaving and making us hurt? Making me witness the pain I’ve caused?”

I stood up and leaned over her.

Her breathing picked up.

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