Page 10 of Ashes

I ignored him. I knew I was spiraling again. I wasn’t stupid. It hadn’t been that long ago that I’d done it, albeit I’d actually done something worthwhile and dug us a pool last time.

“Malachi. Stop. Fucking stop!” Ashes shoved me so hard I fell to my ass and slid across the floor.

I blinked at him.

He wasted no time kneeling in front of me and grasping my face.

“Focus,” he murmured. “Don’t fucking slip, man. Don’t.”

I blinked again. My body felt numb inside. Static. I was static.

“Do you remember when we were fourteen and we broke into that abandoned house? We found all those old newspapers from the forties?”

Another blink. I did remember that.

“You went out and bought a fedora because you saw an article about the mobster who was arrested and he wore one. You wore that damn thing until I set it on fire. You were so mad until you saw how happy setting that fire made me. Remember?” Ashes’s gaze raked over me. He gave me a gentle shake.

I blinked at him again, the edges of my vision fuzzy.

“Slipping now won’t be good for any of us. Stay focused, Malachi. Stay here, not inside your head. I want to escape too, but it’s not fair that you’re the only one who gets to. Come back, OK? Don’t keep falling. Come back f-for angel.”

“Angel,” I murmured.

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat, his hands still on my face. “Church just texted and said you can come see her. Her family agreed. But you can’t go if you’re fucked-up. Are you fucked-up?”

“No,” I whispered in a hoarse voice.

“It’s OK if you need to rest. I can tell Church. You’ve barely slept—”

“I’ll go.” I breathed out. “I can go. I can do it.”

Ashes frowned at me. “OK. You don’t look good. You need to sleep, Malachi. It’s been three days. You’ve been down here for hours. . .”

“I’m OK,” I repeated, blinking at him, my head spinning. I moved to get up and collapsed onto my ass.

OK. So maybe I wasn’t OK.

“Come on.” He held his arms out for me.

I grasped his hands and let him help pull me to my feet. I leaned against him, my muscles seizing and screaming at me.

“I’ll help you to your room. Shower. Rest—”

“I just want to see her,” I whispered. “I’ll rest when I get home.”

“Swear it?” He led me to the stairs and helped me climb them.

I winced and ground my teeth as we ascended.

Fuck, my body hurt.

“Promise,” I mumbled when we reached the top of the stairs and came out into the living room.

That must have been good enough for Ashes because he continued to help me to my room. Once inside, he sat me on the edge of my bed and disappeared into the bathroom I shared with Sin. It was a Jack and Jill type setup.

I heard the shower turn on, and I was suddenly grateful we had a ledge inside it where I could sit. There was no way I’d be standing for this.

Ashes came back and took my hands in his, peering down at them. I followed his gaze to see the skin on my knuckles was raw and bleeding.

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