Page 11 of Ashes

“I’ll bandage and clean them after you shower. Come on.” He helped me to my feet and led me to the bathroom where I leaned against the edge of the shower while he quickly pushed my basketball shorts and underwear down my legs.

“We’re even,” I muttered tiredly.

Ashes shot me a smirk. “We’re even.”

He helped me into the shower, and immediately I sank onto the ledge, letting the warm water pound down on me.

“I’ll get you something to eat and drink then wait in your room. Call me if you need anything. Don’t drown.”

I was too exhausted to give him the finger, so I grunted instead. Moments later, I was alone, nothing but me and my feelings as they came to a head.

I buried my face in my hands and let out a soft sob I tried to choke down. I wasn’t a crier. But fuck. Angel. I knew she was alive, but my baby was hurting. Sick. Lost. We had to figure out how to get her back.

What if she didn’t come back?

I shoved those ugly thoughts away. Those were the same thoughts that had led me to the basement to torture myself with the punching bag. I had to keep my shit together. I couldn’t slip. Fuck, I couldn’t. I was teetering though. I could feel it.

I hadn’t taken my meds the last few nights.

I just kept fucking up.

Focus, Malachi. Focus. Keep your head in the game. Angel. Stay for my angel. No spiraling allowed. Not yet.

I breathed out and reached for my shampoo, wincing at the pain in my body as I made quick work of washing my hair before I grabbed my body wash and scrubbed the sweat and dirt off me.

When I was done, I shut off the water and stepped out, regret at my weakness for nearly slipping coursing through me. I was a fucking mess. A real piece of shit. I hated myself in that moment for being so fucking weak when she needed me.

Slowly, I made my way back to my room. Ashes had set out a pair of sweatpants, boxers, and a gray t-shirt for me. After I had them on, I sat on the edge of my bed and grimaced at my shoes. Fuck, those were going to be a bitch.

“I’ve got it,” Ashes said, coming into the room with a sandwich and a bottle of water. He thrust both into my hands. “Open,” he instructed.

Obediently, I opened my mouth. He dropped my meds onto my tongue, and I swallowed down half the bottle of water before biting into my sandwich. Ashes went to his knees and pushed my shoes onto my feet and tied the laces for me before diligently doctoring my hands and wrapping them.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, my eyelids heavy.

“You’re welcome. Come on.” He held his hands out to me.

I swallowed down the rest of my sandwich and finished my water before placing my palms in his. He helped me back up and out the door.

“Where’s Sin?” I asked as we entered the living room.

“I don’t know. Out,” Ashes answered stiffly. “He didn’t go to classes today either.”

“Do you think he’s hurting too?”

“I don’t know. I want to think he is, but this is all out of character, even for him.”

I nodded. He was right. Even when shit went down with Isabella, Sin still had his shit together. He didn’t try to skip out on us. This was definitely weird. I was like Ashes. I wanted to believe Sin was just struggling like the rest of us were, and he just didn’t want to show it.

“Did you call him? Text him?” I pressed as we made it outside.

“You know I did. But nothing back from him.”

I grunted, wishing I’d have saved my energy to beat the shit out of Sin. I’d be sure to get a good night’s sleep so I could. It was next on my list of things to do after I got to see my angel.

* * *

It took longerthan it usually would to get to the medical ward. I was a slow fuck because of the torture I’d put my body through. When we got inside, Church was waiting for us.

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