Page 72 of Jael

“I don’t want this to be goodbye,” Danny said.

She had to look him in the eyes. Had to pretend like none of it mattered. Steeling herself, she turned to him. “I don’t know what to tell you, Danny. I have a lot of work to do with Vita Nova and with this house. Not to mention I’ll have a wedding to plan. If you want to continue following me for some reason, I won’t stop you. You need to finish what you started, and I have no intention of denying you that, but there’s no reason to say goodbye when you go.”

“You’re mad at me for the wrong reasons.”

She didn’t know which emotion was stronger, her fear, anxiety, desperation, or hopelessness. A deep anger won in the end. It wasn’t for Danny, but he bore the brunt of it.

“All I know is that every time I make myself vulnerable to you, you throw it back in my face. I have a life to live, and you’re not in it. Goodbye.”

She slammed her shoulder into the door as she opened it, then heaved it closed with a satisfying bang. She didn’t stop the tears that came as she marched to the front door, because they were tears of outrage. She was furious with everyone, but especially herself. She knew better than to let hope back into her life, but she’d let it in anyway. She deserved the misery she felt now and would let it swallow her whole like it had her mother. She’d spent a lot of years angry at those who’d caused her death, but Jael hadn’t understood what a mercy it had been. A mercy she would likely one day hope for herself.

Everyone around her already thought she was cold and hard, but they had no idea. If Christopher wanted a wife, she’d give him one, but inside she’d shrivel until there was nothing left.She could live out her empty life giving warmth only to those she could help through Vita Nova and nothing more.

Chapter 20

Jael woke groggy and lifeless.She’d taken sleeping pills so she wouldn’t have to dream, but now she was paying for it.

The buzz of her phone roused her, and she rolled on her side, groping on her bedside table to stop the noise.

“Yeah, who is it?” she answered, not bothering to look at the screen.

“You sound like you just woke up,” Christopher said.

“I did.” She grunted. “What time is it?”

“Almost noon.”

She rubbed her eyes. “I had a rough night.”

“Sounds like it. What happened? Things at work not going well?”

She ran her tongue across her teeth, preparing herself for what she’d already decided. “It’s nothing to worry about. Just the regular difficulties surrounding what I do.”

“You need me to come over?”

“No.” She pushed herself up and pressed her feet into the plush carpet, wiggling her toes before she stood. She wasn’t ready for that yet. “I’ve got to get moving. I overslept. I’ll be out of the house before you get here.”

“Do you have five minutes for a chat now?”

“Sure. What’s up?” She staggered out of her room.

“I’ve been going through the reports regarding the funding for Vita Nova. I see there’s some unfinished business.”

She stumbled, and her shoulder caught the corner of the wall. She scrunched up her face, not making a sound in her pain. “What business?”

“The house that’s going to be repossessed.”

“You said you’d take care of it. Or—I thought you did.”

“It’s in progress. The house is still in our possession for now.”

“For now?”

“Before your dad passed, I was having trouble getting anything done with the foundation. Your dad was making things difficult, and I had a lot of other matters I was busy with. I’ve been wanting to talk to you further about the house before we put any money into it.”

“And I completely understand that.”

“I sense there’s a ‘but’ coming.”