Page 41 of Nanny for the Bikers

I laugh humorlessly, the sound harsh and grating in the silence of the room. “Sisters?” I repeat, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “How can we be sisters when you judge me for every decision I make because you don’t have the capability to look in the mirror at yourself.”

The words pour out of me in a torrent of anger and hurt, each one a dagger aimed at the heart of our fractured relationship. I can feel the hot tears streaming down my face, but I make no move to wipe them away.

“Ayla, please,” Lila pleads, her voice thick with tears of her own. “I know I’ve made mistakes, and maybe you’re right…”

“It’s too late,” I whisper, my voice trembling with the force of my emotions. “You can’t just waltz back into my life and expecteverything to be okay. You can’t erase the past with a few pretty words and empty promises.”

I take a shuddering breath, feeling the weight of years of unspoken pain and resentment pressing down on my chest. “I can’t do this anymore, Lila,” I say finally, my voice barely audible over the pounding of my own heart.

With a sudden burst of anger, I pull the phone away from my ear and press the “end call” button, watching as Lila’s name disappears from the screen. I sit there in silence, my chest heaving with the force of my sobs, as the loneliness of the room wraps around me like a suffocating blanket.

I know I should feel relieved, having finally expressed the feelings I’ve kept bottled up for so long. But all I feel is a deep, aching hurt, the kind that comes from realizing that the person you once trusted most in the world has become a stranger.

Shadow whines softly beside me, sensing my distress, and I reach out to bury my fingers in his soft fur. “It’s just you and me now, buddy,” I whisper, my voice hoarse and raw. “Just you and me against the world.”

22

AYLA

The night air stabs my lungs as I burst through the front door, slamming it behind me with a satisfying thud. My breath escapes in huffs of white vapor, dissipating into the inky darkness. Shivering, I wrap my arms tightly around myself, the thin fabric of my sweater a pitiful defense against the biting cold.

I stride forward onto the small front porch, the wooden boards creaking under my feet. A solitary porch light flickers overhead, casting eerie shadows that dance across my face. I stop at the railing and grip the chipped white paint, clinging to it like an anchor as a storm of emotions rages inside me.

Lila’s words echo in my mind, slicing into my heart over and over. How dare she accuse me of being selfish, of not caring about our family? She has no idea the sacrifices I’ve made, the pain I’ve endured. Hot tears sting my eyes and I blink them back furiously. I had to leave. I had to get out of that house, away from Kyle and the control he has over my family. I wasn’t in the wrong, was I?

Drawing in a shuddering breath, I tilt my head back and gaze up at the night sky. Wisps of clouds drift across the crescent moon, partially obscuring the faint twinkle of stars. I feel so small, so insignificant under the vast expanse of the universe.

A sudden gust of wind whips my hair across my face and sends icy tendrils down the back of my neck. I hug myself tighter, wishing I had grabbed a coat on my way out. But I couldn’t bear to stay in that house a moment longer, suffocating under the weight of Lila’s judgment and disdain.

I left Shadow curled up on the living room rug, his soft brown eyes pleading with me not to go. Part of me aches to feel his warm fur pressed against my side, to bury my face in his neck and let his steady presence soothe my frayed nerves. But I need this moment alone, this space to breathe and gather the shattered pieces of myself.

The door creaks open behind me, startling me out of my reverie. I turn to see Kip stepping outside, his brow furrowed with concern. “Hey, what are you doing out here?” His warm voice cuts through the chill.

I shrug, trying to appear nonchalant even as my teeth chatter. “Just needed some air,” I mumble, wrapping my arms tighter around myself.

Kip’s eyes soften with understanding. He takes a step closer, and I catch a whiff of his familiar scent - a mixture of pine and something uniquely him. “It’s freezing out here, Ayla. You’re going to catch your death.”

I let out a humorless laugh. “Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”

Kip’s eyes widen, and I instantly regret my words. I didn’t mean to sound so dramatic, so... broken. But the truth is, I feel like I’m barely holding myself together. The argument with Lila, the weight of my past, the uncertainty of my future - it all feels like too much to bear.

Kip reaches out and tentatively places a hand on my shoulder. His touch is gentle, almost hesitant, as if he’s afraid I might shatter beneath his fingertips. “Hey, don’t say that. You’re stronger than you know, Ayla and whatever is going on with you, right now, you’ll get through it.”

I close my eyes, letting his words wash over me. Part of me wants to believe him, wants to cling to the hope that he’s right. But another part of me - the part that’s been bruised and battered by life’s cruelties - can’t help but doubt. I’ve been let down so many times by the people I loved the most. I don’t know how much more pain I could handle.

I swallow hard, blinking back the tears that suddenly blur my vision. I want to throw myself into his arms, to let him hold me and tell me that everything will be okay. But I know I can’t. I know that I have to be strong, that I have to face my demons on my own.

So instead, I take a deep, shuddering breath and force a smile. “Thanks, Kip. I... I appreciate you coming out here to check on me.”

“I couldn’t help but overhear some of your conversation,” Kip admits gently, his voice softer than the whisper of the wind. “But you’re not a whore for living here, you know.”

My head snaps up, eyes widening in surprise as a mix of embarrassment and frustration washes over me. “You heardthat?” I ask, my voice trembling slightly, betraying the vulnerability I’m trying so hard to hide.

Kip nods, his blue eyes filled with a compassion that threatens to undo me. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but your sister wasn’t exactly quiet.”

I let out a shaky laugh, the sound hollow even to my own ears. “Yeah, subtlety isn’t really Lila’s strong suit.”

“Ayla, listen to me,” Kip says, his tone firm but gentle. “You are not defined by your living situation or by what anyone else says about you. You are so much more than that. You’re healing our little family here, making Piper happier than I’ve ever seen her.”

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