Page 117 of Depraved Desires

I need to talk to her. To find some way to make this right.

Whipping out my phone, I scrolled through my contacts until her name came into view. Hesitating only a moment, I clicked the ‘call’ icon and waited.

Voicemail.

Groaning, I chunked my phone at the bed. It bounced from the mattress, hitting the floor with a thud. After a few moments of deliberating, I rose. The urge to see her was gnawing at me, and there was nothing that could keep me from having her hear me out at least.

I marched right back out of my room and headed toward the elevator.

“Collin, wait!” Madison’s voice sounded behind me right as I breached the end of the hallway. Where the fuck did she come from?

Turning to face her, I released a heavy sigh. She was becoming more and more annoying as the days passed, and it was becoming more apparent that the guys were right. I needed to stop leading her on. It wasn’t doing either of us any favors—not that I hadn’t broken things off with her and told her to stay the hell away from me before, but maybe I needed to try a different approach because that apparently wasn’t working.

Madison’s long, blonde curls trickled down her shoulders as she drifted toward me. Her pink dress hung to her curves well, something I’d always liked about her before, but not anymore. Her lips glistened with a light pink gloss, and I knew the flavor by memory—watermelon. She was the complete opposite of the girl my heart desired. Madison was light, pink,girly. She was the typical mean girl who felt entitled. Aspen was dark, black, edgy. She was all the things I never knew I even wanted.

Show me, she had said.

“What do you want?” I demanded, keeping my tone clipped.

My thoughts dissipated when Madison took another step forward, clearly not getting the hint. She reached out, placing a hand against my chest. My eyes followed the movement, halting on her hot pink fingernails. Nothing about this girl attracted me anymore.

“Last week when you came to my room, we didn’t really get the chance to talk,” she explained. “You were in a hurry to leave. I miss you.”

I scoffed, taking her hand in mine and peeling it from my chest. She frowned at the gesture but made no move to touch me again. “I’m in a hurry now, too,” I told her, lifting my chin. “So if you have something to say, spit it the fuck out and stop wasting my time.”

A crease formed between her eyebrows, her expression contorting into one of both hurt and confusion.

I didn’t give a shit how much she hurt, though. My mind was on Aspen and making this right. No more screw ups. No more girls. Myles hadn’t been wrong when he said I needed to make a decision and fast. Well, this was me making one.

“Where are you rushing off to?” she countered. “Most of the school is still in class.”

Annoyance bubbled up inside me, rage breaching the surface of my skin and warming me from the inside out. Without even thinking about it—as if my body had a mind of its own, I reacted. My arm snapped out, my fingers curling around her throat, and I jerked her forward, bringing her face close to mine.

“You don’t get a say in how I choose to spend my time,” I growled. “I want nothing to do with you. Frankly, looking at you makes me sick. Take a fucking hint, before I’m forced to do something neither of us will be able to come back from.”

I released her throat, and she stumbled backwards, her eyes wide with disbelief. “What the hell is your problem?” she snapped, that shock quickly morphing into anger. “I’ve been so good to you, Collin, and you continue to treat me like shit. “Why?”

“Because you were nothing but a hole to me. I made that abundantly clear from the start.” A fucking sloppy one at that. Vanilla ass bitch.

Her shoulders dropped in defeat. “I just thought?—”

“That I’d change my mind?” I demanded. “Well, I didn’t.” It didn’t matter how many times I told her; she kept coming back for more. How many more times did I need to hurt her before she finally took the hint and left me alone? To drive my point home, I continued. “I want somebody else. Someone who actually lets me eat her out the way I want. Someone who likes being fucked against the wall and bent over—she likes it rough, and so do I.”

She gasped, her head reeling back. A current of emotions flickered across her face, her hand drifting up to clutch her non-existent pearls. “That’s what this is about?” She breathed. “Sex?”

I rolled my eyes. “That’s what it’s always been about as far as you’re concerned. But with her, it isn’t.”

I shook my head. Even as the tears started to stain her face, I turned my back on her. She wasn’t going to make me feel guilty about this.

“Do you love her?”

My body froze as that question ripped through my skull. It was a simple one really—it just required a yes or a no, but how the hell did I answer something like that, especially when it never crossed my mind?

Blowing out a breath, I said, “I don’t know. But I do know that she’s the only one I want.”

This time, I didn’t stop to hear what else she had to say. She wouldn’t keep me any longer from Aspen. Even when she started calling out my name again, I didn’t turn back. I slipped into the elevator and pressed the button, my head a chaotic mess after that encounter.

When I got outside, the cold bite of winter was a nice reprieve. It helped clear my mind some and allowed me to relish in the fresh air.

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