Page 52 of A Sinner's Saint

“I’m not coming home. I’m going to stay here. Finish the school year out online and then start university next year.” She sounds like she’s reciting a speech. She’s got it all planned out.

I don’t know what to say. I want to tell her to come home. That I need her. But that’d be fucking selfish and counterproductive. “I hate that you felt like you had to leave.”

“Me too,” she says. “Vin?”

“Yeah?”

“Go back to bed. I’m going to video call you.” She hangs up, and straight away a video call request pops up.

“Hey.” I try to smile when I see her face, but my heart fucking hurts. Her skin is blotchy, and I can tell she’s been crying.

“Hey,” Cammi repeats.

I push to my feet, walk back into my bedroom, and lie on the bed. “Maybe we could try this friend thing out?” I suggest. She is my best friend after all. She’s the first and last person I think about every day.

“Mhmm. Sure,” Cammi agrees but I can tell it’s not what she wants. It’s not what either of us wants.

“Close your eyes. I want to tell you a story.” I wait for her to do as she’s told before speaking up again. “There was a boy, a rebellious, lost boy. He thought he had everything under control. He thought that he was handling life just fine. Then God gavehim a saint…” I see Cammi smile, and by the time my story ends, she’s asleep. “I love you, Cammi,” I whisper and disconnect the call.

Standing against the wall opposite her locker, I glare at every fucker who dares to look at me. I’m in the mood for a fight and the first idiot who wants to take me on is going to cop the brunt of my anger. I’m pissed at myself. And at her. She’s really gone. I was hoping it was all a bad fucking dream, and she’d show up at her locker this morning. I know better than to hope for shit, but I really wanted her to be here.

“You can stare all day long. She’s gone. Because of you. Whatever you did to her, I hope you’re happy with yourself because you fucking broke her.” Devon, one of Cammi’s friends, stops in front of me.

I don’t respond to her. What the fuck can I say? She’s right. I did break Cammi. The one good fucking thing I had in my life, and I broke it. I always knew I would. It’s why I stayed away from her for so long, why I watched her from a distance for years. She doesn’t know just how long I wanted to talk to her, how long I wanted to touch her. I never told her.

I had her, and now I’ve driven her away. The monsters won, and I let them. I should have fought harder. But I can’t beat them. Sometimes you just have to learn to live with them.

“You’re pathetic. I’m glad she’s gone, so she doesn’t get drawn back into your bullshit, Vin. Leave her alone. She’s going to heal, and then she’s going to find a man worthy of her,” Devon hisses.

Her words are like a knife to the heart.She’s going to find a man worthy of her.Fuck no. I can’t have her. But like fuck am I going to let anyone have what’s mine either. The thought of Cammi being with someone else makes me physically ill.

“Haven’t you got something better to be doing with your time?” Dash throws back at Devon.When did he even get here?

“Nope,” she replies.

“Find something then. And remember who the fuck you’re talking to while you’re at it,” he grunts.

“Fuck you.” Devon looks from Dash to me. “And fuck you too. Or better yet, do the world a favour and go get hit by a bus.”

I raise an eyebrow at her. She might be one of Cammi’s best friends, and that has given her a lot of freedoms others don’t have when it comes to talking to me. But I will not be talked to like this by anyone. “Did Cammi tell you why we broke up?” I ask while taking a step in the girl’s direction.

She takes a step back, shaking her head as I take another step forward until she’s pressed up against Cammi’s locker.

Then I lean in, keeping my voice low. “She watched me kill a man with a steak knife. She stood there and watched and wanted to help me. She didn’t question why I killed him. She didn’t run to the cops. She wanted to help me.” I watch Devon’s face pale. “Whatever is happening with Cammi and me is none of your fucking business. She is mine. She will always be mine, no matter how far she runs. What we have is unbreakable. Trust me, I’ve tried,” I tell her and then step back.

Without sparing the girl another glance, I turn and walk out of the building. I shouldn’t have even fucking come here today. I’m not worried that Devon will tell anyone what I said. Who would believe her anyway? Probably everyone, but there’s no evidence, and I know Cammi would never speak a word against me.

By the time I get to my car, Dash is right behind me. “Where we going?”

“Cinque,” I tell him. My brothers and I own a distillery a short drive from town. It’s the best place to get fucked up on both whiskey and weed.

“Let’s go then.” Dash opens the passenger side door of my car and gets in. No questions asked.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Two months later - November

It’s over. I’ve finally graduated high school. Although it’s very anticlimactic when you graduate online and there is no ceremony or after parties. My mum tried to convince me to return to Melbourne for graduation. I couldn’t do it.

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