Page 22 of Hannah.

“You have five minutes to get ready. My car is waiting outside.” Conrad flashes me an annoying smirk before taking another sip of his tea.

“Fine.” I finish the rest of my tea before depositing the empty cup in the sink. “Let me get changed, and then we can go.”

He’s not wrong, and that annoys me. It isn’t that I don’t want to spend time with Astrid; it’s that she has a different view of our relationship than I do. Going to her parents' estate and spending time there is just going to add fuel to the fire. The more I participate in boyfriend activities, the more she’s going to think we’re more serious than we really are.

Astrid has plenty of reason to think that way, to be fair. We’ve gotten quite close over the past two years, traveled together, and spent the entire summer in each other's company in a very…well, romantic way…all signs pointed to us going the distance.

But then Hannah van den Bosch appeared, and I’m fascinated by her all over again.

I glance at Conrad's effortless country attire before heading to my room. I decide to opt for something relaxed yet appropriate for the brunch at Astrid's estate, leaving the door a bit open so we can still talk.

I settle on a light blue button-down shirt, jeans, and comfortable boots. Looking out the window and seeing the sun, I grab a lightweight blazer jacket in a darker blue, just in case.

“I suppose there’s no way for me to get out of this,” I mumble, buttoning my shirt.

Conrad is outside in the hallway—I can hear his spoon clinking against his mug. “Why the hell would you want to do that? The sun is out and there’s a beautiful girl waiting for you with her wealthy, perfect match of a family. Sounds great to me.”

His comments make me feel uneasy, mostly because I’m unsure why I feel the way I do. It’s almost like my instincts keep me from committing myself to Astrid. “It just feels likeit's moving at this breakneck speed, this thing between me and Astrid. I wish I had more time to figure out what I want.”

“What are you even on about, mate? You guys have been hanging around for so long, and you basically told me you had the best summer of your life with her. Seems like it's worth giving her a shot,” Conrad replies, his words hitting home.

“I did…but it never felt like forever material, you know? I never woke up, looked down at her, and thought she was the one.”

“Johan, come on.” Conrad leans against the doorframe, his eyes gleaming with amusement as I get dressed. “You’re overthinking this.” His tone is light despite the heaviness of the subject. “Just go with the flow. Astrid seems great, and you seemed pretty smitten.”

I sigh, scratching at my scalp. “I don't know, man. It’s just...things are moving so fast. I’m not used to it.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “You spent a fantastic summer with a girl in a wide variety of paradises, and now you’re complaining because things are heating up? Don’t let your hesitation ruin something good. Just relax and enjoy it. Again, give her a chance!”

Maybe he’s right. Maybe I should let go of my apprehensions and give this relationship a chance. Hannah’s face is hovering in my mind's eye, but it’s not like I can tell him about her. It must seem insane to him; after all, Astrid should be a perfect match. She’s beautiful, comes from a noble family, and we share so many common interests. She’s as smart as she is attractive and into me. But dammit…she isn’t Hannah.

My fingers fumble with the last buttons of my shirt, irritation etched across my face. “Yeah, I am, but I’m more comfortable giving her a chance in the dating sense, not in playing the exclusive, devoted boyfriend,” I mumble, frustration lacing my words. I feel like I’m dressing for a role I’m uncomfortable with.

Conrad snorts. I can’t see him from here, but I can tell that he’s laughing at me to himself. “Dude, relationships aren't black and white. You need to figure out what you want and talk to her. Simple as that.” His tone’s firm, urging me to face the truth.

While our conversation dances around the topic of commitment, my eyes keep stealing glances at my reflection in the mirror. I can read the doubt on my face, wondering if I’m making the right choice by attending Astrid's family gathering. This shirt feels constricting, mirroring my apprehension.

A heavy sigh escapes my lips. “All her friends and family will be there…how am I supposed to break her heart in front of everyone she knows?”

“You won’t break her heart if you’re honest with her. Just have a heartfelt conversation. I will be there for you,” Conrad tries to reassure me. “We’ve been through breakups before. And this doesn’t even have to be a breakup!”

I exit the room, giving Conrad a nod to acknowledge that I’ve heard his advice. God, I so want to stay here on campus and continue my research. The dread of the impending conversation with Astrid is sinking in.

“You ready?” Conrad asks, shaking his car keys in my direction.

“No. But yes. Let’s go.”

We arrive at Goschen Hall and are led to the terrace by the family butler. I feel warm despite the brisk temperature, and I’m not even sure why. I’ve made up my mind to talk to Astrid today, letting her know I’m not ready to be her boyfriend, but it's not like I can’t just back out and save it for later if I want to. All the pressure bearing down on me right now is my own doing.

Conrad is eager to join the get-together, though, and doesn’t slow down for me at all. We end up exiting the terrace doors together and are hardly noticed at first by the gathering. Laughter and the clinking of cutlery fill the air as Astrid's family enjoys brunch al fresco. As soon as Nina catches sight of us, she stands and bustles over, hugging me first and then Conrad.

“Welcome, boys!” she chirps, patting us each on the cheek before taking Conrad by the hand and pulling him towards the table. I follow behind like a baby duck.

Everyone is scattered around the brunch table, some sitting, some standing, not having settled into the meal just yet. Mimosas and bloody Marys seem to be the drink du jour, and I partake in a mimosa myself when one of the staff passes by.

As we reach the group, Astrid looks over, and when she sees me, her eyes light up. It makes my stomach sink. I don’t think anything can feel worse than the guilt I’m experiencing right now, but I’m wrong…because there she is—Hannah herself, in the flesh.

She hasn’t noticed me yet, and I pull my eyes away from Astrid to drink Hannah in. God, she’s gorgeous, and I’m in hell. She's dressed in a light blue dress that hugs her figure in all the right places, the color emphasizing the hazel of her eyes. Her hair, a dark waterfall, frames her face. Even in the casual brunch setting, she exudes this effortless elegance.

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