Page 35 of Sebastian.

“Of course!” Hannah’s response is oddly bright, at least for her. “It sounded like a good time.”

“Sure it did,” I laugh to myself. “Lunch will be ready in twenty minutes. Go say hi to Johan. He’s over by the pool if you’re wondering.”

She’s already turned around to go to the pool when she hears me, and she whips around, bristling. “I wasn’t wondering!” She scampers off to the pool, and leaves me to my thoughts for some time.

“Out here all by yourself, hm?”

I turn to see my mother, eyes hidden by her large sunglasses, exiting the house and coming to join me. She lets out a sigh as she sits, leaving both her cell phone and a leather notebook on the side table next to us.

“Hannah just left to go to the pool, actually,” I tell her, lounging back once more. “I guess everyone else is more interesting than her mother.”

Mom makes a tusking sound. “Oh, let her be a teenager, Julia. You were young too, once.”

I hadn’t been interested in boys at fifteen, and I thought Hannah was like me in that way, but the way she’s taken interest in Johan has changed my mind. I guess my daughter just needed the right boy to be interested in, even if, in my opinion, he’s the wrong choice. I mean, Johan’s handsome, successful, and comes from a royal bloodline…but maybe it’s just a harmless crush. I guess only time will tell.

I smirk, mouth pulling up at the corner. “Yes, and you certainly didn’t make it easy on me at Hannah’s age, so don’t be a hypocrite.” I watch as she picks up the notebook again, flipping through the pages. “What are you up to?”

“Just doing a little research. What is your schedule in the upcoming week, dear? Are you free any mornings?”

“Wednesday is my free morning, as I’m sure you’re aware.” I don’t like to think about the near future, knowing I will most likely continue living here instead of the Van den Bosch estate which has been my home for decades now.

Mom doesn’t pick up on my melancholy, though, and seems almost chipper as she continues. “Oh, good. I just spoke to Eveline, and we've got a solid case. I'm pretty sure with this public humiliation and him displaying his betrayal to the public, you can get a generous alimony.”

She announces this so matter-of-factly that it takes my brain some time to catch up to what she’s saying. “Wait. Eveline? Who’s that?” I ask, confused by this sudden mention of a case.

“Your new divorce attorney,” Mom replies, as if it's an entirely normal thing to discuss during a family lunch.

My mouth hangs open. This is all happening too fast. I haven’t even started to think about beginning the process of a divorce, even though it is a lingering possibility in my mind. “Mom, there's no—”

She waves her hand dismissively, refusing to let me complain. “I'm just checking around. It's only good policy to know where you stand.”

My protest apparently means nothing. I can't help but sigh inwardly at my mother's relentless pragmatism. With her sharp eyes always assessing the situation, Mom might be right. She’s a very protective mother, and at times, also a dangerous one. The reputation she has built is impressive, but sometimes it’s a little much being her daughter. She acts so quickly and so decisively that it hardly gives me time to think. As we make our way to the table, I can't shake the feeling that this lunch might not be as carefree as it seems. Beneath the smiles and laughter, hidden currents of tension run among us. I brace myself for what's to come, hoping that we can find a path to understanding and harmony.

Mom waves a staff member over, and in less than a minute, they’re pouring her a glass of chilled white wine, condensation fogging the glass. “I still can't believe he went to get a lap dance from some random woman. The absolute nerve of that man! You did well to allow that Kenneth to publish the story. It's a good weapon,” she points out, her eyes gleaming with shrewdness.

“Wait a second, I’m not done talking about thisEveline.” My head is spinning. Everything is moving too fast. “I don't really want to get a divorce, Mom. I just told him that because I wanted him to change for the better.”

My mother sighs in clear exasperation. She presses one hand to her forehead, the other still clutching her wine glass.

“Julia, wake up! He isn't changing. You are just fooling yourself here. Did he attend Andries’s wedding despite you threatening him with divorce?” I shake my head in response. “See? He won't change. There is no way that he didn’t see how hurt you were when I brought him back here, and he still went through with everything, just to come out the winner. The best thing is to get ready. It's quick and easy to get a divorce nowadays. Eveline told me you can get divorced in just four weeks!” She leans closer to me, and pulls her glasses down just enough so I can see her eyes. “Julia, this could all be done in a month. The hard part is going to be getting Sebastian to agree on some sort of divorce settlement, which is why we need Eveline, and why we need to be the first ones to strike.”

I’m absolutely floored by the amount of thought she’s put into this, and I can barely keep up. But when I really parse through her words, they do make sense…but still. I’m not ready to give up this quickly.

“I-I don't think we shall start talking about settlements and attorneys,” I babble in protest, picking up my gin and tonic to take a drink. I don’t notice that my hands are shaking until I hear the ice clinking against the glass.

Mom is hearing it, though. “Oh, for god’s sake, how much more disrespect are you going to tolerate from him?” she shoots back, her frustration evident. “On the wedding day of your oldest child, your husband was getting a lap dance from a stripper. Wake up, my dear. He might have been a good man at one time, but that ship has long since sailed. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

Mom’s blunt words hit me like a cold shower. Deep down, I know she's right. I've been hoping for change, but perhaps it's time to face the reality of our crumbling marriage. Is my marriage a gilded cage that I’m simply content in? Have I been fooling myself this entire time?

“But, Mom, what about the kids?” I finally manage to utter, my voice trembling with uncertainty. “They will be devastated if we get a divorce. I mean, my goodness, we have six children. How in the world are we supposed to navigate both a separation and shared parenting?”

Mom gives me a sympathetic look, her gaze softened for a moment. “I know, dear, but sometimes staying together for the kids isn't the best solution. Andries and Elise are grown, and Hannah is nearly there. But it's not healthy for the younger three to grow up in such an environment, either. Plus they’ll always have their nanny to help you out when you need an extra hand.”

I nod, feeling a heavy weight on my shoulders. She's right, as always. The children deserve a happy and stable home, not one filled with tension and deceit. But the thought of uprooting their lives, breaking the family apart, feels like an insurmountable task.

“I just don't know if I can do it, Mom. I don't know if I can go through with a divorce,” I admit, tears welling up in my eyes.

Mom reaches out and squeezes my hand reassuringly. “You are stronger than you think, Julia. You have faced difficult challenges before and come out victorious. You can do this too.”

---