Page 33 of Sebastian.

I nod, my mind filled with thoughts of my daughter, Hannah. At nearly sixteen, she's at an age where communication with her father might not be high on her list of priorities. But that doesn't stop the ache in my heart. I've always prided myself on being a good father, but lately, it seems like I'm losing touch with all of my children. Especially the three oldest.

Floris offers a sympathetic smile, her experienced eyes conveying understanding. “Teenagers can be quite challenging, especially when it comes to opening up to their parents.”

“I know, but it's hard for me to accept that,” I reply, my mind filled with memories of the close bond I once shared with them all. “With Andries and Elise, I always knew their interests—Andries has always loved reading books and fencing, and Elise’s passionate about horse riding and nature. But when it comes to Hannah, I feel like I'm grasping at straws.”

Floris hums thoughtfully, and I’m a bit surprised at what a good listener the nanny is. and how easy it is to open up to her.

“She's always so reserved and secretive around me,” I continue, gauging for her reaction. “I don't know anything about her life anymore, and it's tearing me apart.”

Floris reaches out, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “It's not uncommon for teenagers to withdraw a bit during this stage of their lives,” she offers gently. “But that doesn't mean you can't try to reconnect with her. What about having a nice lunch together? Or dinner?”

I laugh sardonically. “Actually we just had breakfast, and guess what? Five minutes later she was leaving to go and talk on the phone. I don’t even know who she was talking to, but apparently they were more important than me.”

“Maybe at a restaurant then?” Floris suggests, her caring tone offering a glimmer of hope. “It would be frowned upon for her to be on her phone the entire time you're there.”

I consider her words carefully, the idea of a one-on-one meal with Hannah, sans phone, holds a certain appeal. “You're right,” I finally say, feeling a renewed sense of determination. “That might be a better option. I’m sure she’s got a favorite restaurant she’d love to go to, or we can even try something new.”

Floris nods encouragingly. “Yes and it will create a more intimate setting, away from the distractions of home.”

“That’s a great idea, Floris, thank you–” I pause, my phone vibrating in my pocket. “Excuse me.”

It’s Alex messaging me, and he just has a simple question:Did you call your wife yet? Andries and Elise just saw the video on the news. You should really call Julia.

With one look back at Arthur enjoying his summery drink, I head back inside and walk into my study. I need some privacy for this, and my study is one of the only places I can guarantee I’ll be left alone.

Pouring a glass of whiskey, I lower myself into the red leather chair in front of the fireplace and groan. I can’t avoid this call, but I don’t think I’m ready for it, either. Still, I know I have to call Julia, to face the consequences of my actions, but I'm unsure of what to say. Sipping the whiskey, I hope it will give me the courage I need for this difficult conversation. Taking a deep breath, I dial her number and put the phone on speaker, preparing myself for the inevitable confrontation.

After a few tense moments, Julia finally answers with a cold and distant tone. “Yes?”

Hearing her speak throws me through a loop, and for a minute I forget how to breathe. “Julia...I, um, I don't know what to say, except I'm sorry,” I stammer, the words catching in my throat. “I'm sorry for the news and public humiliation. I'm…” It’s all so difficult to talk, and without seeing her face, I don’t even know if she’s listening. “Can we talk face to face about this? It feels so hard talking like this without seeing you.”

Julia ignores my plea, and seems to have other things at the forefront of her mind. “Did you cheat on me with her?” she asks, her voice tinged with hurt and anger.

"With who?" I reply, taken aback by her accusation.

“Don’t play dumb,” my wife snaps, her tone unforgiving. “The girl you went with to the private room.”

My stomach sinks at her question. “I swear I just got a lap dance, that's all,” I quickly explain, desperate to make her understand. “It was Karl's idea, he’s the one who paid the girl and pushed me to go with her into that room. I had already drank quite a lot to forget the fight we got into, and––”

“Oh, for fuck's sake, enough with your excuses,” Julia interrupts, frustrated.

“Julia, I swear there was nothing more than a lap dance,” I insist, dragging a hand through my hair. “I made a mistake, and I deeply regret it.”

She huffs a sarcastic laugh, but behind it, there is a world of hurt. “You’d promised me you wouldn’t go back to a club on your own,” she says, her voice trembling with emotion. “I just...I don't know. You betrayed me.”

Her words pierce through me like a dagger, and I feel regret and sorrow wash over me like an incoming tide. I had promised her I wouldn't go back to a private club since the incident with her brother and Jan’s daughter, and yet I broke that, betraying her trust and love

When Julia speaks again, her voice is so small. “What happened to us, Sebastian? We used to be so happy, so united.”

A part of me wants to tell her that we still are united, if only she would just come home. But I know that isn’t what she wants to hear. Julia wants the truth, always, so I’ll give it to her. “I guess it all started when our son decided to get married to that woman.”

“Yes, well, be that as it may…it's done. Andries and Roxanne are officially married. The papers have been signed, and there's nothing you can do about it. Maybe now you can start moving on.” Julia sounds almost resigned.

The silence hangs heavy in the air, and I can feel the pressure of her disappointment. “I'm deeply hurt, Sebastian,” she adds after some time, her voice trembling with emotion. “And I don't think you realize how hurt I am.”

“I do, I just...fuck, you gave me an impossible ultimatum, and had your mother, of all people, deliver it! You literally betrayed me first, Julia. I was so mad at you for blackmailing me. Who does that?” I retort, my negativity boiling over. I want her back, I love her more than life, but Julia can’t honestly believe that I’m the only one that has done anything wrong in this situation.

Affronted, Julia hisses, “Don't even start! I won't let you ruin my day. I'm hanging up.”

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