Page 34 of Sebastian.

Her words are cold, and I know in a flash that I’m about to lose this chance to talk to her. “Julia, wait—I, um, is there anything I can do for you to forgive me?” I ask desperately, not wanting to let her go. “I want to try, Julia. I really do.”

“Yes...there is one thing.” She sniffles, and the sound almost breaks me. “Attend our son's wedding––which you did not do. Goodbye, Sebastian.”

Before I can ask her to please stay on the line, she’s hung up. I'm left standing here, reeling from the short, awful conversation we just had. Sure, I got to skip the wedding, but the cost for it was just too damned high. No matter how much I hate Roxanne, I love Julia more. I should have found a way to make things work out for my wife, even if that meant escorting her to a wedding that I considered an outright disaster.

I sink down on the chair, guilt and remorse crushing me. Somewhere along the way, we lost each other, and now it feels like there's no way back.

I take a deep breath, steadying myself. I know I need to do something, anything, to make amends. But what can I do now? Julia's hurt runs deep, and I'm not sure if anything I say or do will be enough to heal the wounds I've caused.

I decide to reach out to Alex, hoping he can offer some guidance or comfort. As I dial his number, I can't help but feel a sense of vulnerability, something I'm not used to showing. After a few rings, he answers.

“Hey, are you still at your mom's place?” I ask, trying not to feel hopeful.

“Yep, we are flying back in tomorrow. Why?” Alex replies.

I take a second, trying to find the right words. “I spoke to Julia, but, um…. She seems really hurt. I don't know if she's already talking to a lawyer for the divorce or not, but can you, I don't know, give her a little push in the right direction? I want her to come home. Put in a good word for me.”

“I don't think she’s hired a lawyer yet. I think for now, the best is to wait a few more days, let Andries and Roxanne go to Sardinia, and things should get better,” Alex advises. “Julia feels bitter every time she looks at them, I think, because she’s reminded of how you skipped the wedding. Once they’re out of sight, and out of mind, I bet she’ll be more receptive.”

I nod, grateful for his insight. "How is he?" I ask, changing the subject to my oldest son.

“Happy.” Alex’s response is simple, but there is so much depth to that word. Andries ishappy. I wish I could say the same. “They are lounging by the pool with Dan and Elise, and I think Hannah is on her way over.”

This brings me up short. “Hannah? Well, she doesn't waste time. I saw her less than an hour ago.”

My brother-in-law seems unbothered by this. “It’s good for them to spend time together.”

"Yeah, you’re probably right,” I have to admit, but I’m also afraid that Hannah left just to get away from me. “Alex, do you think my children hate me? I mean, at least I know the youngest don't, but those three…” I trail off, filled with uncertainty.

“You made your bed, Seb...I mean, you are making their mom pretty miserable right now. You can't blame them. But they’re basically still kids. Things can change in an instant when you’re that young.”

He's right, of course. My actions have consequences, not just for me and Julia, but for our children as well. Hurting Julia also meant hurting the kids. I feel a deep sense of remorse in knowing that I've let them down as a father.

“What am I supposed to do?” I ask, feeling lost and desperate for a way to make things right.

“Seriously, wait a few days, I don't think there's much more you can do now. If you try to force yourself into the narrative, you’re just going to upset her more.”

“I guess. It’s just…hard. I want to talk to her, even though I know she despises me right now….” I swallow past the lump in my throat and look up at the ceiling as I change the subject. “Um, hey, so, before you go back to New York, we should visit Jan. It’s been awhile.”

10

Julia

To my surprise,I managed to sleep some after the reception. Enough, at least, that I’m not a zombie today. The atmosphere of the estate is so much more relaxed, as if the wedding being finished has let off a ton of pressure, and everyone is all the more happy for it.

Lunch is soon, and it’s being set up outside today. I head out early to have some time alone, being bathed in the warm embrace of the sun's golden rays. The table, adorned with fine china and crystal glasses, stands ready for the upcoming meal. Meanwhile the lavish pool area lies adjacent, where laughter and splashes echo through the air, painting a picture of carefree joy.

Gin and tonic in hand, I slide my sunglasses into place and let out a long breath. I’m still torn up inside, but it’s impossible to not relax, at least a little, on a day like this. I close my eyes, relaxing back into the chair and letting it all wash over me.

“Mrs. Julia, Ms. Hannah has arrived,” Stuart announces, and I crack one eye to look at him. “She’s on her way to the pool.”

“Have her come and see me first,” I tell him, and he nods in response, leaving to get her.

Hannah, dressed in a gauzy black coverup with a bikini of the same color underneath, appears a few minutes later. I greet her with an affectionate hug, surprised that she made it back here so early after the wedding. It would have made more sense for her to just sleep over, but I don’t question it. She’s clearly excited, and when I notice her eyes darting to the pool over and over, it’s not hard to guess why.

Hannah’s obvious infatuation about Johan brings a hint of amusement to me, but beneath it lies a mother's concern. We’ve already established that not only is he too old for her, but he’s also her sister’s ex, and therefore, should be off limits. But Hannah shows so little interest in anything that I hate to discourage the friendship that is blooming between the two. So I don’t say anything…and I won’t, as long as they remain just friends.

“Thanks for joining us, love,” I tell her as she pulls away from the embrace.

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