Page 43 of Love Grows

“Not really.”

“You didn’t reflect on your last journal entry.” Pip pursed her lips. “Fine.”

I aimlessly played with the crystal again, then, because there was silence, I looked and fell into one of Pip’s searching looks.

“Steph is important to you,” she said gently. "I think this is why it’s hurting you so much. You have an aura about you, like Steph is your…spark? No.” She shook her head. “More like she’s the candle to hold your light. Don’t lose your light just because you’ve thrown away your candle."

“I haven’t thrown away my candle, Pip.” I shook my head.

“Haven’t you?” She studied my face.

“Gah! No! I just…I’m hurt and embarrassed, that’s all.” I restarted my little crystal football game.

“Because Steph wanted more information?”

I looked up. “Because she deceived me and everyone else. It’s not right.”

Pip hummed. “It’s a little morally grey but if you put that aside, you fell in love with Steph before you knew who she was. So you’ve fallen in love with a person rather than a company’s representative.”

I jerked. “I haven’t fallen in love.”

“Haven’t you?” Pip repeated.

“I don’t like these Tarot sessions,” I said, as I scooped up the little crystal and handed it to her. “Way too much like therapy”

Pip beamed. “Thank you!”

* * *

I engaged in some sad,weepy internet searching where I just looked at images of my Steph then realised that she wasn’t my Steph at all. The articles and captions were the most difficult to endure. I found out that Steph was the majority shareholder of Walker’s. The big boss. Which was information I didn’t know what to do with in my brain, so I shoved it in a box in the corner of my mind and threw myself into work for the week.

Steph had been right. We were short-staffed.

Pip came in on the Tuesday when the oldies bus turned up. She was a godsend with that many people to deal with. She even took them all off my hands when they were done by shuttling them next door for coffee, cake, and a three-colour crystal reading if they were so inclined.

Denise, Kahlia’s mum, came for a half day on Wednesday. She tried valiantly but didn’t know one end of a native cacti from the other, so I left her at the counter the whole time because the prices were on the plants and the register wasn’t hard to manage. I was so grateful that I must have looked slightly manic when I grabbed her shoulders and beamed into her face.

“You are so wonderful to do this. I can’t thank you enough!”

“Oh!” Denise gave a sudden, startled smile. “It’s nice to feel needed. Kahlia and Derek are so competent with the baby and I sometimes feel a little like an unnecessary piece of Lego when I’m there. It’s nice to feel useful, isn’t it?”

“Denise? Are you a hugger?” I always checked.

“Yes?”

I pulled her to me.

* * *

Mrs G lookedup and waved as I strolled through the curtain of multicoloured plastic strips at the doorway to her shop on Wednesday afternoon.

“Hi. Sorry I haven’t been in to see you yet. Flat out at the moment.” I said, and felt my small smile of greeting drop. “I’m a staff member down,”

“Ah, my Angel. I heard.” Mrs G wiped her hands on a tea towel then came around the counter to sit at one of two squeaky metal chairs that were offered to customers. “Sit. Sit.”

I dropped into the other chair which gave an alarming lurch, but with a quick bum shift, I righted it so it stood proudly on four legs.

“I know we are the winners but maybe we are the losers as well?” Mrs G said, and I wanted to bury my face in her shoulder and cry.

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