Page 44 of Love Grows

Mrs G must have seen this idea cross my face because she shuffled around, dragging the chair which squeaked on the lino, and put her arm around my shoulders

“Maybe we have lost a person from our community. I know about this plan of Steph’s, yes?” I rolled my head to look at her eyes, then snuggled back into the scents of salt, vinegar, and baklava.

“She’s obviously been along and told everyone,” I mumbled.

“I think she is very brave, our Steph. She did not lie.”

I jerked but she held me tight. I was nearly in a headlock.

“Mrs G. You’re kind of squashing me,” I said into the neck strap of her blue and white checked apron.

“Oh. Sorry.” She patted my cheek as I moved back. “Angel, love. It is normal to tell little white lies when courting. We exaggerate, no? Make sound better. Mr G, when he was courting, I asked him what he did. He said he owned a shop. No.He worked in a shop. No difference to me. I was his love focus.”

“His love focus?” I could feels tears looming again. Mrs G put her hands on each of my cheeks, and squeezed gently.

“Your Steph. She is your love focus,” she said, staring into my eyes, then she released my head and puffed out her chest ready to expound on her next piece of advice. “So what that she is director of company? You saw real Steph. I know this in here.” She slapped her ample bosom and nodded affirmatively. “I know this.”

* * *

“You, too?”I sat heavily on the small stool that Ted called ‘Angel’s Stool’ probably because I sat there the most and depleted his stock of loose leaf tea.

“She did tell me quite a good deal of the ins and outs,” Ted said, patting my knee, then turned to switch on the other overhead light. With Ted’s little flat above, two larger buildings butted up against each side, and the whole store at the front, it made for a dark tea room.

I took the proffered cup. “Thanks. Ins and outs is a funny way of saying she confessed.”

“Well, to confess means that she’d have to be guilty.”

We stared at each other. Finally, I spluttered. “But she is!”

“Of what?” Ted cocked his head to one side.

“Of…of being someone she wasn’t.”

“But she was being herself in person, just not in name.”

“Yes, her name. Instead of being Steph Thatcher, potential girlfriend, she was, she is Steph Walker, not-at-all potential girlfriend.”

“Angel, love.” I stilled my hands, the tea sloshing in the cup as Ted gazed at me intently. “I think Steph told you who she was very early on.”

I peered morosely into the slowly spinning liquid. “I’m not sure I’ll get over her.”

“Yes, you will.” Ted stood up and plucked the mug from my hands. “Particularly if you start to think of her as innocent in all this.” He tipped out my cup and refilled it with more hot tea. “Your brew got cold.”

“What?”

“Your cup of tea needed a refill.”

“No. What did you say just before that?”

“Think of her as innocent then work backwards. Something about getting a court to decide,” he muttered, gathering his jacket.

“What are you up to?” I stood as well.

“Nothing. I’ve not seen hide nor hair of little Tough today so I thought I’d invite myself down to yours for dinner. Lock up after you, please, lass.”

* * *

On Friday morning,I had hit rock bottom. I hugged myself in the office, spinning slightly on the business chair.

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