Page 15 of Lost in Me

She smiles as I lean down and connect my lips to hers. The kiss is soft and quick. I slowly make my way down from her lips to her ear. “He is outside, Angel. Stay inside these walls.”

“Okay,” she whispers.

“He will not touch you,” I confirm.

“I know,” she says with confidence that makes my heart skip a beat.

I pull back just enough to look into her eyes. She is worried but calm. I lean back in and gently kiss her forehead. My heart is racing by the affection I am showing her. The type of affection I have never shown anyone.

But we need to bait Jesse. We need to drive him as insaneas he is trying to drive us insane. This is a deadly cat-and-mouse game, and I am determined to win.

After a few moments, I pull back and we both release our hold on each other. Em smiles at me as she walks behind Sherri, gently touching her shoulders as she walks around the counter toward the client, who is sitting in the waiting room.

Em stops for a moment and looks out the front doors. Jesse is standing in front of the doors with his hands on the glass. His eyes are dark and filled with rage. I know he just witnessed the affection we showed each other. So far, I am winning at this game, and he is losing, and he will continue to lose.

Em takes a deep breath. “Are you ready to come back?” Em asks the new client.

The young girl nods slowly, gets up from the chair, and makes her way over to Em. Em gently places her hand on the girl’s lower back and begins to lead her past the counter and down the hallway toward her office. She stops for a moment and looks at me.

I slowly nod. “I will take care of it,” I state softly, doing my best to reassure her. I know this must be hard for her—focusing on the client’s stories of domestic violence when she is currently living it herself again.

This whole thing makes my blood boil, but I know I need to be careful. Very fucking careful. I don’t want to scare Em. I don’t want to draw attention to me or this place from the police. Most of them are on my payroll, but the Feds aren’t, and I know they have been looking at me for years.

I might need to get my boys in on this, though. Let Jesse know I am not the only one watching him, the local police are watching him as well. I know he is on fucking parole. I got connections, and I read his file. I read what he told the therapist in prison about Emory and their relationship. He is fucking nutsin every sense of the word.

She nods back and continues to walk toward her office. I wait to hear her door shut.

As soon as I hear it shut, I slowly get off the counter. I don’t want her to see me confronting Jesse. She is worried enough.

“What are you going to do?” Sherri asks me. Her tone is concerned. We have never had an ex do this before, but it was bound to happen with the line of work we are in. There is always the possibility we would have to deal with something like this.

I just never thought it would happen to the woman I am falling in love with. Never in a million years had I thought I would fall in love with someone, and now that I have, it makes this whole situation so much worse. It makes me feel even more unhinged.

“Make it clear,” I state, trying to get a grip on my own thoughts and emotions.

“Make what clear?” Sherri asks, looking up at me.

“Who Emory belongs to,” I state softly, feeling my heart race with my words. When I say those words, it means different things than when Jesse says it. I don’t own Emory. She has a choice to be with me or not, and if she doesn’t want me, she can walk away. She can say no at any time.

But I can’t fully turn off my possessive and controlling behaviors. It is just who I am, but I will hold back for her. I will be careful for her.

I look down at Sherri. She is smiling. She nods.

Sherri has wanted Em and me to get together for years, and she was right. She is always right. We both need each other, and now that I have her, I won’t ever fucking let her go, and I will not lose her to this fuck nut. Em will always have a choice with me. I will never ever take her choice away like Jesse did. That is not who I am.

I take a deep breath and make my way around the counter. I push the front doors open, forcing Jesse to take several steps back. His hands are now formed into fists as I walk out of the building. The door closes behind me as I cross my arms over my chest.

“How does it feel, Shawn?” Jesse asks me, looking at me up and down, trying to size me up, which honestly makes me want to laugh. He might be a dangerous guy wherever the fuck he is from, but here I am the dangerous one. I am the one in control of my town.

“What?” I ask, playing along with his stupid fucking game. He wants so badly to fuck with my head, but he doesn’t realize I am the one who is going to fuck up his. I can see it in his eyes. He is already on the fucking edge of losing control. Which I know makes him more dangerous than I thought. He has nothing to lose, and now that I have Em, I have everything to lose.

“Fucking another man’s woman,” he asks, locking his eyes with mine.

I take a deep breath. “I wouldn’t know,” I state calmly. He really fucking believes Em is his and that she is cheating on him with me. This fucker has more problems than what was in his file, that is for sure.

I am a guy who has done some very fucked-up shit, but I will never understand the mind of a stalker or an abuser. They make no sense to me. Their reasoning is irrational and off-the-top crazy.

“So you are fucking her?” Jesse asks me. His voice is low and enraged. He is trying to find any reason to hurt her. To hurt me. I am not going to give him what he wants. People might do what he says where he is from, but here I don’t fucking listen to him. I don’t fucking owe him shit.

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