Page 20 of Lost in Me

“Promise me you will stay close,” he says softly. It is nice seeing this side of him, the softer side. I am the only one who gets to see him like this. To the outside world, he is the opposite of what I am seeing right now, but what they think doesn’t matter. I know the truth, and I know the real him.

“I promise.” I allow the smile to form across my lips.

“We better get going,” he states, pushing off the doorframe. He turns around, and without looking at me, he reaches behind him and grabs my hand, holding it tightly as he leads me out of the bathroom, then the bedroom, and into the hallway.

It has been so long since I went out and had fun. I am excited. I am excited to see a new world I have never been a part of. Shawn is dangerous, and his world is dangerous, but I am starting to realize I like being on the edge. I like the danger he brings into my life because I know he will never let anything happen to me.

And I know that if someone does hurt me, they will pay the consequences. Shawn has made that very clear.

He continues to lead me down the hallway toward the now-open front door. It is 9:00 PM. I don’t know where the day went, but I am ready to get out and have some fun. Shawn leads me out the door and down the steps to his waiting car. He is always ten steps ahead, making sure everything is going the way he wants.

Shawn opens the passenger side door, and I slide inside. He closes the door as I buckle up and sit back in my seat, watching him closely as he makes his way around the car.

Shawn sharing his life with me has been interesting, and him telling me everything he has is now mine has been interesting as well. Shawn had his guys pick up all my things from my apartments and bring them here. I no longer have my own apartments. Now, this house belongs to both Shawn and me.

I watch Shawn get into the driver’s side and shut the door. He buckles up and sits back in his seat. He puts the car in “drive” and presses on the gas. I look ahead and see the gate starting to open. Shawn has hired a lot more guards, and now the propertyis filled with them all the time. I don’t mind them, though I feel safer knowing they are watching everything. The more eyes watching, the safer I am.

Shawn reaches out his hand and rests it on my knee. I lift my hands and grab onto his. I seem to always need to touch him somehow, and it makes my heart flutter knowing he feels the same way.

I am ready to walk into his world with him. I am ready to see what Jesse never let me see—freedom.

Chapter Thirteen

Shawn

I tighten my grip around Em’s waist as my guard opens the front door, allowing us to go past the people waiting to get inside. I can hear the music blasting and the booze has already been served. The dance floor is already filled.

I look down at Em. She is looking all around with the biggest smile I have ever seen on her face, which makes my heartbeat slow down. I was nervous when she said she wanted to come tonight, but looking at her right now, she is happy, and that is all I want.

I warned her about entering through the doors of my life, and she has never tried to back out. If anything, she has been taking steady steps through the door without second-guessing. She is everything I have ever wanted and so much more.

We are using her as bait tonight to see if her ex will come out of the shadows. I still don’t like the fucking idea, but it is the only one I know will get him to come out and face me head-on. He is a fucking coward and will wait in the shadows forever if he has to. It is time we play my game. Because I am sick and tired of playing his.

I am sick and tired of waking up and seeing his fucking gifts outside of our house or at the center. The cops I hired to watch him have been trying, but Jesse is smart and has been able to stay away. He is keeping his distance enough where my people don’t always know where he is, which makes me nervous.

We slowly make our way through the crowd of people. Em doesn’t notice it, but the men and women on the dance floor are staring at her. She doesn’t pay them any mind as we make our way toward the bar. I am jealous that they want what I have, but I am also proud they see and want her.

She makes me feel a mixture of things, but my jealousyis nothing like Jesse’s. I don’t want to hide her away where she can’t be seen. I want people to see her and desire her. I want them to see that I belong to her now, and she belongs to me.

We stop at the bar. Em sets her arms on the counter as the bartender makes his way over to us. “Hey, Shawn. Do you want the normal?” the bartender asks me. This kid has been working for me since I opened this club. He is a good, loyal worker, and I know I can trust him.

I know he will keep his eyes on Em for me when I have to go take care of things upstairs. I don’t want her to see me dealing just yet. I am not ashamed of who I am or how I make my money, but she needs to take a small step each day into my world, not run right into it.

“Yes,” I state softly.

“And for you?” The bartender looks at Em. She slowly turns and looks at me. I nod and smile. I don’t think I will ever get used to it when she feels the need to look at me for permission, and honestly, it makes my blood boil, remembering she does it because of what Jesse has done to her.

She turns back and smiles at the bartender. “Can I please get a Sea Breeze?” she asks.

“Good choice,” the bartender states with a smile.

He looks at me and nods as he turns around and starts making our drinks. Em has never drunk around me before, and honestly, I don’t think she has drunk since she was a teen, but it makes me happy knowing she feels comfortable doing things Jesse wouldn’t let her do.

A few minutes later, the bartender turns around and hands Em and me both of our drinks. I take mine and watch Em closely as she takes the seat and takes a small sip. She nods with a smile.

She turns around, resting her back against the bar, taking another sip of her Sea Breeze, and watching people dance.

She turns and looks at me as I take a sip. She leans into me, making my heart race. “Want to dance with me?”

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