Page 14 of Lost in Me

“Angel,” Shawn says calmly. He lifts his hands and rests them on my shoulders. I am not the only one battling the thoughts inside my head. I can see it in his eyes. He is trying to keep his promise of protecting me, but I will not let him keep that promise if it means stopping the work we do. We need to continue to keep this place open no matter the cost.

“Shawn, that is what he wants. He wants me to be afraid. He wants us to change our lives,” I state as calmly as I can as I feel the anxiety build. Honestly, I don’t know what I am more afraid of, Jesse or us having to close the center to keep me safe.

He continues to search my eyes for a moment. I don’t know where the hell this is all coming from, but I like it, and my words are true. Jesse will do anything to get what he wants, and he wants me. So he will do anything to push Shawn and me apart and change my life here. We can’t let him do that, or he will win.

Shawn lifts his hand and places it behind my head, pulling me into him even more, making sure there is no spacebetween us. I let him. He stops when I am less than an inch away from his face. “Okay, but you stay in eye view all day today, understand?” Shawn states in a stern but kind voice.

I nod. “Yes, I understand.” My heart is racing because of Jesse but also because of Shawn. Shawn makes my heart race differently. He makes me feel differently. He makes me feel strong and cared for. He makes me feel all the things Jesse promised but never did. Shawn doesn’t have to try. It is just who he is.

I honestly don’t know how I didn’t see him like this before. Maybe I was afraid of allowing myself to see him this way because I knew if I did, I would fall in love with him. Even after everything I have been through and how high my walls are around me, he has found his way inside, and I can honestly say I am falling in love with him. I think I was falling in love with him long before we had sex. I was falling in love with the man right in front of me.

He takes a deep breath, then pulls me into him, connecting his lips to mine. I think this started out as a business thing for both of us, but now it is turning into something so much more. Yes, he is my boss, and yes, I asked him to protect me because I am afraid of Jesse, and I know what kind of man Shawn is. Now, after last night, I can’t help but feel we are both falling for each other. Even if, in this moment, he is not there yet with me, I know what I feel, which is terrifying and exciting at the same time.

I am not the only one who is changing him. He is also changing me.

Chapter Nine

Shawn

I sit on the counter next to Sherri. She has been quiet since she got here and we unlocked the doors. I know yesterday scared her even though she won’t say it out loud. She is a lot like me in that way. We keep our feelings to ourselves.

I know at one point, Sherri was married, then her husband passed away because of cancer, and then she started working for me around the same time I hired Em.

Sherri is my strong foundation in this place. She takes care of everything, and everyone who works here comes through the doors asking for our help. I honestly don’t know what I would do without her.

Sherri is looking at Em’s schedule for today. I know she is worried about her after what happened yesterday.

“I see you two are no longer hot and cold.”

“Sherri,” I say with amusement.

“I’m just saying it is about time,” she states with a smile.

I smile and shake my head as I turn and look at the computer screen. Em has a full day of clients to meet. Most of the clients want to see her, and I can understand why. She is a survivor, and she wants to help others escape what she is going through.

“What are we going to do about that man?” Sherri asks with concern.

“I am taking care of it,” I say through gritted teeth.

“Do I want to ask what that means?” she asks with amusement.

I shake my head. “No. Probably not.”

“You care for her, don’t you?”

“Yes.” I nod gently.

“Good. She needs you. Just like you need her, Shawn,”she whispers.

I stare at Sherri, waiting for her to say more, but she doesn’t as we both hear the bell at the front door. We both look up and see a client walking in. I also see Jesse outside pacing. He hasn’t come in yet, but he has been out there for about an hour. I can see the rage in him building.

I also watched him remove the roses, ring box, and letter from the trash. I knew he was watching us this morning. Men like him can’t stay away. I know it is driving him crazy knowing I am with Em, which honestly makes me smile. I like to play games with men like Jesse. He thinks he can break me, but I am the one that will, in fact, break him.

I take a deep breath as Sherri picks up the phone to call Em. Her client is checked in and ready for her.

“Honey, your client is ready when you are,” Sherri states on the phone.

Sherri hangs up and continues to stare at the computer screen. Moments later, we can hear Em making her way down the hallway. I turn and watch her. She comes up to me, stepping between my legs. She wraps her arms around my waist. I wrap my arms around her neck, pulling her into me.

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