Page 59 of Taylor

She had felt real feelings for him. How had she thought he felt them, too? How could she have been so stupid?

There was a knock at her door. She sat up and looked at her phone. It was after eleven. Who would be knocking on her door at this hour? She didn’t want to see anyone, so she just pulled her pillow over her head.

The knocking continued, but so did her refusal to get up.

“Alice,” a voice called.

She sat up. No. It wasn’t.

“Alice, can we please talk?”

Was Taylor here? Why was he here? He wasn’t mean enough to come and tell her to stay away from him, was he? No, he wouldn’t do that... but she also wouldn’t have thought he would have just glared at her the way he did.

He knocked again. “Please, Alice,” he said, his voice sounding almost as rough as she felt.

She threw back the covers. Her bare feet padded down the stairs as she made her way to her front door. The deadbolt clicked as she turned it, but she wasn’t quite brave enough to open the door.

“Alice,” he said, sounding slightly more hopeful.

She cracked the door, and nothing could have prepared her. There he was, in his peacoat, cheeks rosy from the cold, but his eyes looked just as pained and red rimmed as hers did.

“What do you want?” she asked quietly.

“Alice,” he whispered her name. “I’m so sorry... Can I come in?” he asked as his voice cracked.

She wanted to tell him to leave and be strong and confident, but her heart wouldn’t let her. Her stupid heart still fucking craved him like he was the breath of life itself. She flicked another tear away as she opened the door, stepping aside.

He came in, and they just stood there for a moment. The only light in the whole place was the glow from her distant bedside lamp at the top of the stairs and the ambient light from the parking lot, but it was enough to see the emotion in his eyes.

“Alice, I’m so fucking sorry,” he said in a gravelly voice. He stood there, his gaze trained on her.

“For what?” she said, trying to sound unbothered, even though there were still tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Can I hug you?” he asked barely above a whisper.

She should say no. She should’ve kicked him out, but instead she just nodded. Instantly, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. This made her break all over again. How she still had sobs left to sobs she didn’t know. Surely, the tears had to dry up soon.

He just held her and gently brushed her hair and let her cry. She wasn’t sure how long they stood there like that, but she finally had herself under control and pushed back.

“Why are you here?” she asked carefully, internally telling her traitorous heart to get it together.

When she looked into his eyes, he seemed to be in just as much pain as she was. That didn’t make any sense.

“I needed to talk to you because I think I fucked this up.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Fucked what up?” asked Alice, still trying for the nonchalance she did not feel.

“Whatever is happening between us.”

Her eyebrows scrunched, and she shook her head. “There’s nothing going on between us. I get it.”

She looked down at their feet. He was in dress shoes, while she was barefoot, with her rainbow toenails. Another tear streamed down her cheek as she remembered looking at their feet just like this in the kitchen in the cabin—except he’d had his socks on. Why did that feel devastating? Why was she like this?

“How can you say that? After everything at the cabin,” he pleaded as he lifted her chin to meet his gaze. His head shook, but his eyes stated laser focused on her.

She huffed and pulled her chin out of his gentle hold. “We hooked up.”

“No. It was more.”

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