Page 38 of Lost the Handle

A lump forms in my throat as I close my eyes and lean my head to hers. My whole body is racked by my sobs, and I wish I could take back what I said. I wish I hadn’t gotten into that argument with her. One, she was drunk. And two, emotions are always high when it comes to her and me. I don’t want to lose her again, but I don’t know how to keep her at arm’s length. Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to her. I asked her once if she wanted me to wait for her, and she said she couldn’t do that to me.

I can’t do it to her.

“What did you lie to her about?”

By the grace of God, my phone rings, keeping me from answering that question. I dig it out since it’s well past one in the morning and no one would be calling to tell me my auto warranty is expired. I see that it’s Flynn, and my stomach drops.

Shit. Is Em okay?

“Hey.”

I hear yelling and god-awful singing as Flynn’s voice comes over the line. “Bro, I don’t know where you went off to, but Emery is fucking shit-faced and got into an altercation withsome girl who told her she was simping over you. No clue who the girl was, but she heard y’all, I guess. But anyway, the cops came, and now Emery won’t stop singing ‘Dial Drunk’ by Noah Kahan to them and is crying for you.” I hear a crash that I assume is him dropping his phone, and then he curses.

But I can still hear Emery singing the song. But with my name instead of “you.” “I’d die for him, I’d dieeeeeeeeeeee for Quinn Phillips Adler!”

Jesus Christ.

“Still at Whiskey Row?”

“Yup, in the parking lot.”

“Okay. Try to keep her from getting arrested. I’m on my way.”

My mom stands with me as Flynn adds, “That’s not the problem. The problem is keeping the cops from egging her on. They all know her and think it’s funny she’s being a love-sick fool. So, come get your woman and save us all the damn hassle.”

The line goes dead, and I can’t help but laugh. One second, she has me crying, and the next, she has me cracking up.

My Emery is fucking unpredictable.

But that’s how it’s always been.

Just as she has always been mine.

“Emery?” Mom asks, searching my face, and I nod.

“Yeah. Gotta go save Flynn from her.”

Mom pats my face. “You know I’d help you with whatever you needed.”

Her eyes search mine, and I nod. “I’m fine.”

She blows out a breath, shaking her head. “You know, when Shelli was younger, I knew she had gotten into drugs, even when she told me she hadn’t. When Posey was sleeping with Boon, I knew, but still, she said it wasn’t happening. When the twins?—”

“Mom, I get it. But I’m not lying.”

“But you are. You’ve been lying since you brought Ava home,” she says, her tone sharp and to the point. “And I don’tcare. I don’t, Quinn. I just want for you to be happy, and if that means getting you out of something, I’d do it, baby. In a heartbeat. And I wouldn’t say a word.”

Tears burn my eyes, and once more, I’m unable to speak. I lean down, kissing the top of her head. She leans into my kiss and squeezes my biceps in her palms. With so much emotion in my voice, I say, “I love you, Mom.”

I move away as she tells me the same, but all I can think is that the lie I just told my mom is nothing compared to the lie I told Emery.

And honestly, I don’t know how to come back from either.

Chapter

Sixteen

Quinn

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