Page 16 of Currency in Flesh

I considered before answering. “No, I want him to be surprised. I don’t want him to understand until it’s time.”

This time, her grin was feline and wicked. “There you are, little mouse. I knew you would learn to bite.” Her fingers closed around the cabinet handle, pulling the door open as I stepped back into the darkness. Bright orange light and thick smoke poured from the space, and I heard the echo of millions of agonized voices. I had the feelingthiswas the true pit, the space where Lady Cora kept the most repulsive of her citizens. It pleased me to know she counted Sean in their number.

A rope fell from the open door, and she tugged it. As though he was nothing more than a pig on a slaughterhouse line, Sean’s bound form swung into view. She sliced through the rope with a fingernail. I wondered if they were always so sharp or if it was something she conjured when needed. The sound he made as he landed on the ground was beautiful. It held zero dignity, the pathetic thump of dropped meat. He groaned like an ancient floorboard, long and deep. Lady Cora dragged him across the floor to where the large wooden frame stood, throwing the end of the rope over the top and moving to the opposite side to pull him up. I watched soundlessly as she cut the tie between his hands and feet and stretched his limbs to all four corners of the frame. When she was finished, he stood—splayed out and shivering.

His head slumped forward, so I couldn’t see his expression. The rise and fall of his chest was shallow and quick, the breathing of a wounded animal. Something dripped from his face to the floor below, but in the dim lighting I was unable to determine if it was blood or tears. He still wore the suit he had on at the bar—only now, it was filthy and tattered with large patches of dark fabric which could be any number of fluids. Helooked like he couldn’t possibly cause another person harm. He looked weak.

A sick sense of joy twisted through me. I knew there was something fundamentally wrong with delighting in the suffering of another, despite what they may have done. But I knew that as a distant fact, rather than something I experienced or understood. The part of me my mother’s kindness and morality had nurtured and protected had been slowly shattering with each blow Sean landed against me. Every cruel word he spoke chipped away more of the goodness. And now, reveling in the sight of him, broken and frail, I imagined I could feel tiny fragments and dust beneath my feet, the only persisting reminder of the person I was in the time before Sean. There may have been a moment where, had I turned around, I could have glued those pieces back together. I might have painted the cracks with shimmering gold, found strength in my ability to heal. At one point, maybe, but not anymore.

I walked up to the edge of the platform which held the frame. My boots pressed against the small step, the last thing standing between me and whatever revenge I planned to enact against him. He didn’t look up, just kept taking in shallow, panting breaths and shaking against his shackles. I took the final step, stopping only inches away from the man I had once tied my life to.For better or worse. In sickness and health.My arm was steady as I reached for him and grabbed a handful of his thick, dark hair. He didn’t react until I had lifted his face to mine, blinking slowly and shutting his mouth with surprising conviction. The muscles in his jaw twitched, undoubtedly holding back some vile words he wanted to release. I smiled, leaning forward until our noses were a breath apart.

“Hello, Sean.”

The moment he heard my voice, Sean began to thrash against his bindings. It was like someone had torn a bandage from a still-bleeding wound. As he threw his head back and Ilost my grip on his hair, I could see the whites of his eyes. He was a rabid dog, and I yearned to put him down.

Lady Cora’s steps echoed through the room, loud even against the sounds of Sean struggling and shouting. She flicked her wrist in his direction and his lips snapped together—silencing him in an instant. She rolled her eyes slightly, as though this was an annoying inconvenience and nothing more. “Have you considered this?” she asked.

“Considered what?” I replied, confused.

“How would you like to proceed? Are there any tools you would like? Do you have any sort of plan for him?”

I cocked my head, glancing at Sean as I thought. I hadn’t, in fact, considered any of this. My only thoughts up until this moment were of how many ways he had wronged me. I wanted him to know how that felt, but how do you condense nearly a decade of cruelty and abuse into… however long I had here.

“You have as long as you wish,” Lady Cora replied to my unspoken ponderance.

I swiveled to face her head-on. “That is my wish,” I said. “I fulfilled my side of the bargain, right? Well, what I want is for you to stay out of my head from now on.”

Her lips pursed, and she looked almost petulant. “Allthe time?”

My eyebrow lifted at the implication. “Ask me if you want in.”

I could see it was the wrong thing to have said. She was a Queen, a Goddess. Telling Lady Cora she needed to ask my permission to do anything had to grate on her nerves terribly. But she had promised me a request, and I wanted my privacy more than anything else. I’d spent so many years with my mind existing only as a place filled with anxiety and sadness. Now that I had the opportunity to maybe be at peace, at least in mythoughts, I wanted to preserve it. I deserved a bit of peace, didn’t I?

Her expression smoothed, and I knew she hadn’t yet quit listening to my thoughts. She had heardwhy, and something about my reasoning compelled her to agree. “Very well,” she replied. “I will not have anyone believe my promises untrue.”

Warmth filled my belly, and it felt oddly similar to affection. But I shook it off. I wasn’t capable of even beginning to understand healthy emotions. The man who writhed in front of us had made sure that my ability to trust my own judgment was thoroughly destroyed. “I don’t know what I need yet. I think right now, all I really want is a little time alone with him. I’m sure my wants will reveal themselves eventually.”

Lady Cora nodded. “When you are through, open the cabinet door.”

“You’ll come back?” I wasn’t sure why I felt more nervous about being alone here than what I was about to do, but something about being in this darkness by myself made me uneasy.

“I will always come when you call, daffodil.”

I ignored the returning warmth.

With Lady Cora gone, the space felt massive, endless. The black seemed to roll out forever in all directions and I thought if I shouted, I’d hear the echo of my voice. I hoped I would hear the echo of his.

Sean had raised his head and stared at me, wide-eyed. His lips seemed to be stuck shut from whatever Lady Cora had done to him. I would want his mouth open eventually, but for now, it worked out well. I sat cross-legged on the floor in front of him. From my position on the floor, I could see that what had dripped from his face was, in fact, not blood. Knowing I had watched him cry was validating in a way I couldn’t have articulated. I smiled.

“Well, Sean, it looks like youreallyfucked up this time.” His nostrils flared as his eyes narrowed. He was pissed.Good.“Howis it”—I glanced at the cabinet—”in there?” More untethered rage contorted his face, but I was having a great time. “You know, I sleep in a bed twice the size of ours. My room is beautiful, and I haven’t had to ask for a single thing. I think of a desire, andpoof!It’s done.” He didn’t need to know the parts I left out, but thinking of Lady Cora’s hand at my throat sent a shiver of desire racing down my spine.

“I think it’s hilarious that you truly thought you could givemysoul in exchange for your debt.” I laughed and shook my head ruefully. “As though your soul could have any value.”

I scooted closer, wanting him to see me clearly when I spoke my next words. “I was going to kill you, you know? Even before I found out that you’d been dosing me with fucking birth control for however many years. I even went overseas to purchase untraceable poison. I’m honestly a little sad I didn’t get the chance to see you foaming at the mouth on the floor.”

He tried to lunge at me, but he was firmly restrained, so he only succeeded in moving his chest forward a couple inches. His body immediately rocked back and the sound that came from the back of his throat instantly gave away the pain it caused his wrists.

I stood, walking around the frame to examine the bindings. There were metal bands around each wrist and ankle, nowhere near the comparative comfort of the soft leather cuffs which had fit around my own. Hooked through the metal was a very short length of chain, which was attached to metal rings at each corner. There didn't appear to be any closure or clasp involved—it looked like they had been soldered together like that from the beginning. The metal encircling his wrists dug into the flesh between his hands and the bones just past them. The skin was already red and swollen, making them even more painful than they were by design. I could see how easily I could break his wrists, it wouldn’t even take any real physical effort. The way his arms were extended left no room for movement,and a quick hit to his forearm would definitely snap one of the bones like grade-school pencils.

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