Page 47 of Real

How many times do I have to tell people that today?

Einar stops in his tracks. “You can’t bond to anyone.” It’s more of a statement than a question. He clearly knows what the word means, so I don’t bother to answer him.

When I open the door to the staircase, he stretches his arm in front of me. “He loves you too. It’s obvious.”

I look up at the ceiling, trying to hold the tears back. “Who the fuck cares? I can’t have him. I’m sure he’ll get over it quickly when he has someone like you.”

Einar keeps his arm in place. “He only needs a bond to become human. He doesn’t have to stay with the man he bonds to.”

“What?” He’s not making any sense.

“I’ll bond to him, then we can go our separate ways so he can be with you.”

I step back, finally meeting his gaze. “Why? Do you not want a mate? I don’t understand.”

He smiles wryly. “Oh, I very much want a mate. If this was only about me, I would be happy to wind my life around Buddy in the traditional way.”

“Then why—”

“He is a gift from the Lights. If your god gave you a gift, would you ask that gift to be miserable just so you can have a mate?”

I don’t want to explain to Einar that my god has damned me to hell. Especially not right now when I’m barely keeping my emotions in check.

“My god and I don’t get along very well.”

Einar lowers his arm. “The Lights are better than your god. No offense.”

“You don’t even know which god I worship,” I say.

“You’re muzzled. That means you’re a red wolf shifter. We have a lot of stories about your god in our scriptures. He’s an asshole.”

I bust up laughing. “Did you just insult my god?”

“Yeah.”

“Fair enough. My godisan asshole.”

Einar’s the one who laughs this time. “C’mon. Let’s go tell your omega you’re coming back to him.”

I stop. Here is a perfectly kind and handsome man who is willing to sacrifice his own happiness to take care of Buddy. If I stay, Buddy might be happy for a little while, but a bond is a deep commitment. Buddy will feel that commitment all the years of his life, even if he isn’t with Einar. Buddy has only spent a day with me. It will hurt when I leave, but not for long. He’ll have a good mate and a community here in the Den. He won’t want for anything.

“You know what? I want to be different than my god,” I say.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to be an asshole. Long term, Buddy will be happier being with an alpha he can bond to. Hell, if he’s a skatt, he’ll probably be happier with an Illusor anyway.”

Einar gives me a sad smile. “He wants you.”

“You don’t know Buddy yet. He’s kind like you. He’d never agree to your arrangement. He wouldn’t want you to be unhappy just so he could get what he wanted.” As I say the words, I know they’re true. Buddy will make the perfect skatt. The Illusors will love him.

Dorian never realized the value of the person he treated so horribly.

“Einar!” Skatt calls from his office.

He’s probably about to tell Einar that Buddy’s chosen him. After all, Buddy isn’t a fool.

“You better get going,” I say. I open my mouth to tell Einar that Buddy needs lots of praise and reassurance, but I stop myself. I’m not ready to give him that information. I want to be the one to tell Buddy how beautiful and special he is. I want it so badly, my heart aches.

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