Page 46 of Real

Timothy squeezes my knee. “I’m sure his mate loves him in both of his forms.”

Would Timothy want to have sex with me in both of my forms if we were mates? He bit me while I was plastic, but surely once I take my human form, he wouldn’t want me this way.

I look down at my chest riddled with bullet holes and scars. He especially wouldn’t want to see this. I pull my shirt closed.

“My mate is a kinky bastard,” Skatt says with a grin. “He totally gets off on the wooden thing. Which leads me to our next topic of discussion: taking a mate. If you want to become flesh and blood, you have to do it. Honestly? The nightly heats are hell without a mate anyway.”

Skatt has a nightly heat too? It would be nice to have an alpha to fill me every night, but that’s a lot to ask. How does his mate feel about that? I wouldn’t want to be a burden.

I stop my thought process. In order to become flesh and blood, I need a mate, which means it’s truly possible for me to become flesh and blood.

I can become real. Candlewick will go free. Dorian won’t be able to perform his reversal spell without killing me, and it’s against the law to kill a human with magic.

But I have to convince an alpha to take me as a mate first. Timothy said he wanted to be with me, but agreeing to be my mate tonight is probably too much. It’s so sudden, and he didn’t know about the whole Illusor skatt thing. I still look over at him, though. He’s staring off into space, dejected.

Which probably means he doesn’t want me anymore.

That’s fine. The stuff in the imaginary log cabin was just a fantasy. I try to not let it bother me. It’s just… I really want to be with him.

“I thought the two of you would be more excited. Your mate doesn’t have to be an Illusor. It usually is, but I can see the two of you are already—”

“I can’t bond to anyone. I’m muzzled,” Timothy says and stands. “But there are a whole group of single alphas out there. I’m sure you’ll find someone to your liking.”

“Timothy, wait—” I had forgotten he couldn’t bond. “Maybe there’s a way the Illusors could help you with their magic.”

He turns back to me with a tortured expression on his face. “That’s not how light magic works, remember? Technically, it’s not real. It only exists in our heads.”

“That’s what Einar said. But what about me? What about Skatt? We aren’t just fragments of light,” I remind him.

“H is right. We couldn’t fix that. In order for you to become flesh and blood, you’d need a bond. Love isn’t enough,” Skatt says.

Timothy’s eyes become glassy. “This is for the best. You have a home now. A pack. They’ll take care of you better than I ever could.”

“No offense, but you’ve got it all wrong. Buddy will take care of them. It’s his job. He’s their guardian.”

I wish Skatt would shut up. Timothy is already upset. Who cares who is taking care of who?

“Nobody could take care of me better than you,” I say, even though it doesn’t matter.

Timothy smiles, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I’ll always remember the precious hours I had with you. Always.” He opens the door and walks out.

He takes my heart with him.

20

H

At least Buddy is safe now. So is Candlewick. Buddy will get to bond to one of the handsome young men waiting for him in front of the puppet theatre, and he’ll get to stay in this beautiful, magical place. Everyone will get a happy ending.

Everyone except me.

Einar jumps up as I walk down the staircase. “Where are you going?”

“Home,” I snap, which isn’t fair. This isn’t Einar’s fault. I’m just jealous. Einar is exactly the kind of man Buddy deserves. He’s probably the alpha Buddy will choose. Buddy will want someone kind.

“But you love him. It’s obvious,” Einar says.

“I’m muzzled.”

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