Page 180 of Five Summers

Theo, always goofing around, casually throws his arm over Nate’s shoulder. “Aww, you’re such a big softy.”

As I watch them, the full magnitude of this moment becomes clear to me. Despite our diverse backgrounds, we have formed a strong bond as a unified family. Our achievements are tied together, and I'm sure our bond will remain unbreakable.

A door abruptly swings open behind Theo, and Kit appears, casting a glance in our direction.

"Sorry," she says, sensing the tension between us. “They’re getting a bit restless.” She takes a quick look at me. “I thought you were going back to the hotel.” Kit checks her watch, then looks at me. “The car's waiting out back to pick you up. If you step in here, you won't make it out in time, and Poppy's likely waiting for you at the hotel.”

"Well, I guess I'll see you guys in New Zealand," I say, glancing at everyone. They all nod in agreement, and a tinge of sadness washes over me as I turn away from them. Walking down the hall, I feel their eyes still on me as I embark on the next phase of my life.

Chapter sixty-nine

Poppy

After catching a connecting flight and loading our bags into the hire car that Kit organized for us, I can’t help but feel excited. In just about ten minutes, I will finally get to see Alex.

Throughout the plane ride home, Xander has been unusually quiet. I've tried to get him to open up about how he's feeling, but it feels like he's locked his emotions away. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with him.

I haven’t informed my mother that I’m coming back today. There is no way I can face another lecture about how I’m making the biggest mistake by letting Xander back into my life. I’ve reached a point where her negativity has become unbearable to me. We are a family, and nothing in this world will ever take that from us.

“What does it feel like to be back in your hometown?” I ask Xander as we turn onto the street where we both spent our childhood years.

“It's kinda weird, honestly. I never expected to come back, but here I am, returning for the second time in just ten weeks.”

As we pull up to the curb, Xander parks the vehicle out the front of my mother’s house. I can’t help but notice that his eyes are locked on the house two doors down, its lawns overgrown and its windows covered with boards. Without saying a word, he turns off the engine.

"It's even more run-down than I remember," he observes.

“Is that the reason you’ve been so quiet? Is it because of coming back here and having to relive everything?”

His eyes meet mine and I see his expression change.

“What if I fuck it up? What if I have no clue how to be a dad to Alex?" he says.

I can see he's struggling just by the way he swallows, his throat tight and tense.

“You won’t, Xander,” I reassure him.

“Poppy, you don't know that. I’m fucked up.”

“But I know you. I know you love that little boy with every ounce of your being. I’ve seen it.”

“I’m completely clueless about how to be a dad.”

"I didn't know how to be a mom either until I became one," I say, gripping his hand. “I've seen how you two hit it off every time you interact. It's clear how much you love him. That’s all that matters. I understand it's scary. I was terrified at the idea of having a child as well. But you can do it. You'll get through it, and each day it gets easier. Xander, there’s no way you could ever mess this up. Trust me.”

“You always have a way of doing that. You always see the best in me," he says, gently brushing my hair away from my face.“That’s one of the things I adore about you, Princess.” Leaning closer, he presses his lips against mine.

As he reaches for the door handle, he lets out a shaky breath. “Alright, let’s do this,” he says, opening the car door.

The moment I step out of the vehicle, Xander is right by my side, hands tucked in his pockets, gazing at my mother’s house. I can’t help but wonder if he’s reminiscing about all those moments we shared - the meals we enjoyed together while indulging in our favorite show.

He opens the front gate and holds it open for me to walk through. Just as we are about to reach the steps leading up to the front porch, the front door swings open, and there’s my mother. Without uttering a word, she closes the door behind her. The second she turns around, her eyes lock on Xander. Her intense glare means trouble is coming.

“What is he doing here?” she spits, her scornful words cut through the air. She stares defiantly at Xander, her eyes piercing through his soul.

“Well, hello to you too, Mother,” I say, sarcastically.

Standing firmly on the top step, my mother peers down at us, her gaze filled with intimidation, asserting her authority and making it clear that Xander is not welcome here. I wonder if she used the same tactics on the day he returned all those years ago, that morning when he attempted to approach her.

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