Page 16 of Downfall of a Princess

I splayed a hand on Ria’s soft side. “All right. What play is being performed in the theater this month?”

Gem shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“Not really,” I agreed.

The purpose of this visit wouldn’t be to watch the play but to ogle the male actors in hopes that one of them might catch myfancy. Was Mother right to suggest that I would find “a delicate, artistic type” harmless enough to invite to bed with me?

What was my type, anyway?

No matter what man I tried to envision in my bed, unease crawled up my arms and down my back with a nasty pricking sensation.

I didn’t fear an emotional intimacy with a man. I was even looking forward to finding a true friend in my future husband. In Rorrim, I finally saw what a happy or at least a content marriage looked like.

My new parents shared a friendship and a deep respect for each other. Their union was not a love match, it couldn’t be, considering Mother’s position. Her parents carefully selected Father from a long list of young princes. Mother had seen Father only a handful of times before they were married. Practically strangers at first, they’d grown to genuinely care for each other over the years.

I’d never witnessed them raise their voices, not to mention hands, to each other. I’d never seen Mother deny my father anything, either. Whatever he’d asked for, she made sure he had it. Though, his requests were always reasonable.

Mother clearly enjoyed spending time with Father. I’d seen them walk hand-in-hand in the park whenever her busy schedule allowed for some free time. They had separate bedrooms as their station required, but everyone in the palace knew their physical relationship remained strong. Mother visited Father’s chambers regularly, and she kept no other lovers or favorites.

I wanted that—someone who’d be my best friend, to whom I could come home to after a long day of meetings and politics, someone I could trust completely and be myself with, away from any pretense or intrigue, someone I could hug whenever I needed it and who would hold and support me back. SomeoneI, too, could walk hand-in-hand with in the park and have conversations that flowed as easily as a brook through the soft ground in a forest.

I hoped to find that in my future husband, just like Mother had found it in Father.

But that was not what Gem had been tasked to help me with. For now, all I needed was someone to have a night of sex with.

It shouldn’t take longer than one night, should it? I didn’t need passion. I just had to go through with it once to know what to expect the next time. That should hopefully be enough to calm my nerves before the wedding night, so that I wouldn’t embarrass the Crown of Rorrim in front of my virginal husband.

Gem dragged a wicker chair next to mine and sat in it. Hiking her long skirts up past her knees, she propped her feet onto the low parapet at the end of the patio, exposing her bare legs to sunshine.

“Don’t worry, Ari,” she said with an encouraging lift in her voice. “We’ll find you someone who knows what he’s doing. He’ll teach you all the fun things about sex.”

I gave her an incredulous look. “Fun? Really? At this point, it honestly feels like a chore.”

“I imagine it could be. Especially when you have to worry about that pesky procreation duty. But it doesn’t mean you can’t also enjoy sex for what it is—pure pleasure.”

“Enjoy” and “pleasure” were used in the same sentences as “sex” so often, I had to believe there must be some fun in that activity.

“Gem. Can women really enjoy sex?”

She smirked. “Why else do you think so many of us end up in the gladiators’ rooms after the Games?” She leaned closer, lowering her voice. “Do you ever touch yourself, cousin?”

“Well... Sometimes.” I cleared my throat, trying to sound casual, but my face heated with blush.

“That’s fine, sweetie. Women can talk about things like that among ourselves. There is no harm in getting yourself off every now and then. It’s pleasant, isn’t it? And healthy. It helps with tension relief and such.”

I stroked Ria’s warm, silky fur. The gesture soothed and grounded me.

“Now imagine,” Gem continued, “there are two more hands and a tongue helping you come.”

“A tongue?” My mouth fell open.

“Right.” She sighed with a soft moan. “Frankly, a tongue is the best body part that Goddess gave to a man. Some are also very good with their fingers. But fingering requires some added finesse not all of them possess, sadly.”

I stared straight ahead, processing what she’d just said. My knowledge about sex was mostly theoretical. I’d never discussed it with anyone in such detail before. Right after my arrival to Rorrim, I was deemed too young for the courtiers to even mention sex in my presence. After a certain age, people just assumed that I already knew everything about it, even though none had bothered to teach me. All my knowledge came from the comments and innuendoes that I’d overheard while coming of age at the royal court and from the horrific experiences in my old world.

A pair of workers made their way around a corner tower of the palace’s east wing and past the lily pond with goldfish. The two were fixing a garden path by laying decorative bricks into a pattern over the hard-packed dirt and gravel.

Today seemed even hotter than yesterday. Both women had their shirts off to keep cool in the heat. The younger one had a comfortable bandeau-style top to support her voluptuous breasts. The older woman had smaller chest and chose to forgo a top or a bra altogether. All she had on were loose cotton pants and work boots, in addition to a leather apron that protected herthighs and chest when she carried a stack of bricks from behind the tower.

---