Page 15 of Downfall of a Princess

“What will be best for you, Ari?” she continued. “I can’t possibly send the crown princess to a fun house like a commoner. Any contact with the fallen men from such anestablishment would cause a scandal the crown cannot afford, especially while arranging for your marriage. But I will support any other way you choose to go about it.”

I adjusted my glasses, then twisted a diamond bracelet around my wrist. “Do you really think it’s necessary for me to do before the marriage, Mother? Maybe... Maybe my groom and I will figure things out after? Somehow?”

I was stalling, and the queen knew it. If there really was a problem with my having physical intimacy with anyone, it wouldn’t magically disappear after my marriage. If the thought of getting naked with a man made me feel like running for the hills now, what would I do when I stood in the bedroom of my groom, with the added pressure of the whole world waiting for us to consummate our marriage and give an heiress to Rorrim’s crown?

There’d be no way to hide. Literally overnight, my personal issues would become the talk of all queendoms.

I understood the queen’s concern, but I feared I couldn’t alleviate her worries that easily.

“Trust me, it’s best to know these things in advance,” Mother assured me. “Your groom will be nervous during his first time. It wouldn’t help if you were nervous too. You need to know what to do and guide your groom with confidence expected from your age and position. You know, if there is any doubt about your marriage being real in every aspect, including physical, it may be annulled. The groom’s family may also demand a public consummation, which isn’t pleasant for anyone. Luckily, there is still time for you to get the experience you need.”

“Honestly, Mother, I’m not sure how. I don’t know if I can...”

“You can have any man you like,” she offered promptly. “Discreetly, of course, but I will allow you to bring anyone you feel comfortable with into your chambers. Perhaps, there is a gentleman of my court you find agreeable?”

Most men of the royal court belonged to my father’s gentlemen-in-waiting. They usually left the room when I visited Father’s parlor. I hardly interacted with any of them.

“They’re all fine gentlemen, Mother. But I don’t feel that kind of affection for any of them.”

“It’s not a matter of affection, dear.” The queen smiled. “Physical attraction isn’t always the same as the matters of the heart. In your case, it’s actually preferable that it isn’t.” She gazed up, as if pondering the issue at hand. “How about the royal gladiators then? I’ve heard those men are well skilled in the art of pleasuring a woman. The crown will handsomely reward the one you choose if he manages to please you and put you at ease.”

I huffed a nervous laugh. “You’ll pay a man to have sex with me?”

“Ari, dearest, men don’t need to be paid to have sex. Their urges make them crave it all the time, especially at your age. For any man of the queendom, it’d be an honor to spend a night with the crown princess. The compensation will be simply a token of our appreciation after the fact, nothing more.”

I rubbed my forehead, wishing I could just disappear from this room altogether. However, that wouldn’t solve the issue. Maybe it was best to get it over with, somehow.

“Does it have to be a gladiator?” I asked.

“Of course not. It’s just that my gladiators are easily accessible, clean, and discreet. But as I said, it could be anyone you find acceptable.” She took her chin in her hand, lost to a moment of contemplation. “Do you find the gladiators threatening, perhaps? I can understand that. The nature of their occupation requires them to be large and act aggressively.”

The image of Salas, the punished slave, came to my mind once again. As far as size was concerned, that man would easily give any of the queen’s gladiators a run for their money.

“Maybe I should have Gem take you to the theater this week?” Mother mulled over another idea. “There is a new production group performing this season. If a delicate, artistic type of man is more to your liking—”

“I’ll find someone, Mother.” Placing my linen napkin next to the plate with my unfinished muffin, I got up from the table.

The queen’s support was important in this matter, but I couldn’t possibly have her search for a bed partner for me. I was old enough to woman up and resolve my own issues.

More than anything, I wished to be the queen my mother would be proud of. I had studied hard for that. A queen ruled her people and ensured a smooth continuation of her line to preserve the peace in her land. If that meant I also had to know how to bed my future husband, then that was what I was going to learn too. Somehow.

Chapter 4

Ari

That morning, I put the appeal of Salas’s case on the schedule of the Royal Council and finished the list of the speaking points I planned to make to defend him.

In the afternoon, Gem found me on the patio off the east wing’s drawing room. I got some free time between lunch with my parents and the formal dinner with the dignitaries from the Queendom of Tresed, and I decided to spend it outside, enjoying the sunshine with my new puppy.

Ria was an adorable white fluffy fur ball from the litter of my father’s lap dogs. I fell in love with her at first sight and claimed her for my own before her eyes had even opened. She was an energetic little creature but tired quickly, and now was sleeping on my lap, looking like a pile of snow-white fuzz and cuteness.

Gem got straight to the point. “So, how about a trip to the theater tomorrow?”

I released a long breath, “I take it you spoke to the queen?”

“I did.” Gem grinned.

Mother trusted me with many important tasks, but she clearly believed I could use some help with this one, sending Gem for assistance.

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