Page 93 of Fix You

How could I possibly claim to love him and then abandon him now in his time of need? I would be truly heartless.

At that moment, an alert came through that there was a car in the drive. Mam gave me one last fleeting look before we both rushed for the backstairs. I didn’t ask her why she was coming with me.

Maybe it was out of concern for the Nerettis. Maybe it was to give me a buffer from Rafe. In the end, it really didn’t matter.

In silence, we stood at the end of the stairs with our eyes trained on the back door. The first to appear in the doorway was Gianni. At the sight of the blood splattered across his face and clothes, Mam’s hand flew to make the sign of the cross. After a terse nod at the both of us, he continued past us down the hallway to the bathrooms.

Leandro came in next. Unlike Gianni, his face wasn’t stained. Instead, his hands were soaked red. ”Thanks for letting us come here to clean up,” Leo said, his voice strained and his body language tense.

Mam hesitantly reached out to touch a clean spot on his arm. “Oh honey, you don’t need to thank us. We’re your family. Anything that you need, please let us know.”

“Have you heard anything else from Caterina?” I asked.

He shook his head. “She’s still being evaluated at the hospital.”

At my nod, he then disappeared down the hall to join Gianni in the communal showers. “God help them,” Mam murmured under her breath.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Rafe appeared. It wasn’t the blood on his face and hands that startled me.

It was his expression.

There was devastation written across his face that only those who had experienced trauma like me could possibly understand.

As if he was in a trance, Rafe lurched past us without a look or hello. It was as if he was still surrounded by the hell he’d just experienced. Even though my heart ached for him, I remained rooted to my spot. I didn’t know what was the right thing to do at that moment.

“Go to him, Róisín,” Mam urged.

Her encouragement caused me to abandon my indecision. I sprinted forward, hurrying to close the gap between us. “Rafe?” I questioned.

At first, he didn’t recognize that he’d heard me. Instead, he kept shuffling along. Tears burned in my eyes. “Rafe, I’m here for you.”

Without another word, I slid my hand into his blood-stained one. He flinched at the contact before jerking away. “Don’t get that on you.”

“I don’t care about the blood,” I argued softly.

“The sin. Don’t get the sin on you.”

“Oh Rafe,” I murmured as the tears streamed down my cheeks.

“I have to get cleaned up.”

“Let me help you.”

“I don’t want this on you,” he argued.

“I can handle it. I promise.”

Since we needed to be alone, I steered him to the one room in the house I’d never been in. Although I was rarely in the basement, I always pretended like the room didn’t exist. Its sole purpose was for my brothers to use for torture, and I didn’t like to associate them with anything that horrible.

But it was the only other room with a shower in the basement besides the communal one. I couldn’t run the risk of taking him upstairs and tracking blood.

After we slipped inside, I locked the door and turned on the light. At the sight of the instruments, he froze, and my mind immediately spun with what he and his brothers had done to their father in his final moments.

Tugging Rafe along, I led him to the center of the room. After positioning him over the grate, I went over and turned on the water. After adjusting the temperature, I flipped the knob for the shower. Even though he was still dressed, Rafe didn’t move away from the stream.

With his shoulders drooping in defeat, he stared at the bloody water swirling in the drain. I went back over to him andbegan to undress him. My hands came up to loosen his tie. Once I deposited it on the tile floor, I began unbuttoning his shirt.

“I killed my father.”

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