Page 14 of A Breath of Fresh Air

“Fuck,” he hisses, coming himself. He collapses on top of me in the aftermath, and I love it. I trace circles on his back until he shudders, and together we roll so that I now lie atop his chest. I fall asleep on him, feeling wonderfully boneless and satisfied.

“You okay?”

I nod, my heart still racing as I stand naked in front of the open door, staring out at the dark and letting the wind hit my skin, thankful that no one else is around outside. The hot flash justhadto happen tonight while I had a man in bed — a man who is very hot to touch, to begin with — and I jumped out as soon as I started to sweat.

“Just hormones,” I say. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. It should calm down in a few minutes, then I’ll come back to bed. You go.”

“I’ll stay.” He comes to stand behind me, lifting my hair off of my back. A moment later I shiver as I feel the sweat on my back cool more, and realise he’s blowing on my skin.

“Thank you,” I whisper. He keeps it up, stopping only when I sigh and turn around to face him. “It’s over.” I still feel out of sorts, but when he bends, picking me up in his arms with ease, I melt into him. Together we lock the door, and then he carries me back to bed, the whole event feeling like a fever dream.

I lovehow comfortable Brett is here in my house. He wanders around in nothing but a towel slung low over his hips, sippingon his coffee as he examines all the pictures on the wall. Most of them are of Ellie over the years, a few with her and I together, as well as some of my dad, and my treasured photo of Mum, her arm around me, my pregnant belly obvious thanks to the bikini I’m wearing. Dad took that photo just a month before Mum died, and it’s special to me that Ellie is there in it too.

Brett turns to me, eyeing the clothes I’m wearing. “Are you going for a run this morning?”

I nod, tying my hair back into a pony. “I thought I’d be more sore this morning, but I’mknot,” I joke, earning me an eye roll from Brett.

“I’ll join ya, if you like. Unless you think I’ll freak out the locals a little too much.”

It takes me a second to realise he means he’ll join me in his shifted form. “Uh, yeah, join me! That’ll be fun.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. We might get some strange looks, but who cares? There’s a few non-humans around here these days. No wolves in this bay, but there’s an orc family just down the road.”

He nods, staring out the glass door at the ocean, where it’s still a little windy, but nothing like last night. There’s not such a great outlook here, with the main house blocking most of the view of the water, but there’s still a small section of water visible between houses and fences. “I’ll meet you outside,” he says, unwrapping his towel. I take it from him, smiling at the view of his gorgeous butt as he steps outside into the cold winter air.

By the time I step outside, Brett is in his wolf form. Hegrins, lips pulling back to reveal his set of sharp teeth, tail wagging adorably as I descend the small set of stairs. I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him behind one ear. It’s still very strange to me that this is the man I fucked only a few hours ago. I didn’t grow up knowing about magic and supernatural creatures— no one did! — but I’m not afraid or nervous or wary of Brett here. If anything, I find the fact that he turns into a wolf exciting.

I take a few minutes to stretch and warm up under Brett’s watchful gaze. When I first started running I used to skip this step, but I quickly learned that was the fastest way to a preventable injury.

“Come on, let’s run.”

Wedoget some strange looks, but no one says anything, and I love running beside him. He sprints ahead to chase a flock of seagulls on the shore, the happy wag of his tail and excited bark making me laugh as he circles back to me. I could get used to this. It’s a terribly stressful thought.

“You’re really quiet this evening,”Brett says, and there’s a deep crease between his brows as he looks at me with concern.

Brett and I have had the loveliest three days spent in each other’s company. This man understands me on a level no one else has ever done, and he fucks me so good, but tomorrow he heads home to Motuwai, and it’s been messing with my head. As much as I’d love to, I can’t take time off work every week and neither can he. He has his time with his daughter every weekend. I have my dad up here, and he doesn’t have many years left in him. I need to spend as much time with him as possible.

Between the wait times for the ferry and the inevitable stops along the way, travelling from here to Motuwai is a five hour journey, and I just don’t see how any of this canwork.

I’m too scared to tell Brett this. I don’t want to burst this bubble. I don’t want him to know how stressed I suddenly feel inside because I have messaged or called him every day since April and he’s become a fixture in my life. It’s like I blinkedand suddenly everything I think about relates back to him, and I don’t know if this is normal. The last time I was in this position with a man it didn’t go well. Our lives didn’t blend. It broke my heart.

I want to pause time. I want to pump the brakes. I don’t want to stop this and yet I do. I’m panicking, and I think he can tell.

“I’m just tired,” I say.

If I’m uncharacteristicallyquiet then so is he. There’s no words, no dirty talk, noI love thisandfuck you smell goodthis morning. There’s just desperation, thick in the air and obvious in every bruising kiss, in every bite, in the way he sucks on my neck hard enough that I know it’s going to bruise. His fingers dig into the flesh of my hips as he fucks me from behind, hard and fast. He covers my body, his chest to my back, and bites at my shoulder as he knots me, growling continuously as my cunt spasms around him and his cum fills me.

In a different world we could have met sooner. Could have made babies together. Could have had a life that blended well instead of feeling like we’re being pulled in opposite directions.

We cuddle, knotted on the bed. I hold it together just long enough for his knot to pull free, but my heart aches and I hate this.

“We can make it work,” he says.

I shake my head, my vision blurry with tears. “You have to stay where your daughter is. You have to prioritise her. You have her every weekend, so how can this ever work? I can’t take you away from her! And I have to be where my dad is. I’m the only person he has.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

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