Page 75 of A Wolf in the Garden

The magic.

“Van,” I whisper, keeping my eyes closed. My first instinct is to panic, but I remember what Nerilina told me last time I saw her —“If you do feel it, lean into it, examine it, and don’t be afraid to draw it out.”

Van must realise what’s happening, because he silently takes my hands in his under the water, and I sigh, relaxing.

Feel it.

This magic of mine feels warm, but not in a comforting way. It’s almost electric, full of energy, full oflife. I try not to think about what I’m supposed to do with it, and instead focus on drawing it out, from this place deep inside my mind that I never knew existed before, from the part of me that is completely inhuman.

I don’t know how long I sit here like this, examining it, testing the boundaries of this magic in my mind, but eventually Van squeezes my hands gently. He’s held them the entire time. “Baby, open your eyes.”

The sun is up, hanging low above the hills, but that’s not what catches my attention. I gasp, gripping Van’s hands tight as I see my reflection clearly in the still water.

“It’s okay, it’s okay Ellie. It’s fine. You’ve partially shifted, that’s all, it’s the same magic I use all the time. I could feel it, baby, when you did it. It’s the same. It’s the same, alright?”

My heartbeat is thundering in my ears as I stare at the pair ofantlerspoking out from the top of my head. They’re not really antlers at all though. They’re branches, complete with the odd white blossom blooming. I make a panicked whining noise as I watch one of the blossoms open, petals unfurling before my eyes. “What thefuck?”

“Ellie, listen to me.” There’s that growly alpha tone in his voice, the one that makes me automatically obey. “You are fine.Don’tpanic.”

“Okay.”

“Breathe.”

I take in a deep breath as Van holds my gaze with his own intense stare, the exhale only slightly shaky.

“That’s it,” Van coaches me. “That’s it, baby. It’s just magic. You control it.”

“I don’t feel in control right now.”

“Youcontrol it.”

I relax further under the weight of his alpha growl. It’s not quite an order, but his voice is filled with enough command to make me feel as if he,at least, has control of the situation.“A dyadic magic relationship,”Nerilina had said to me, describing Van and I, and how our magic interacts.“You both give and take from each other.”It explained, Van had mused, why he was able to treat me like another pack member in terms of his alpha magic. If it were anyone else with that power over me, I’d be terrified, but I know he’ll never abuse it.

My eyes drift back down to the reflection in the water. “What am I supposed to do, Van? I don’t want these things on my head!”

“Ellie.Stay calm.”

It’s hard not to be alarmed, the whole thing giving me flashbacks to those first few days of the Unravelling, when I felt so out of control, so terrified of the change to my body, so horrified by the riots overseas and the mass panic here in New Zealand and the non-stopBreaking News: The Unravellingbanners that scrolled across the TV screen. There’d been nothing but news coverage for a week, the utter confusion around how society would continue to function knowing there was a wholesecond world out thereplaying out in real time. The fact that a number of well-known people — two government ministers, multiple news reporters, local celebrities, sportspeople including beloved rugby players and Olympic legends — had all turned out to be non-human had shaken regular New Zealanders to their core, and the reactions of everyday folk, ranging from fear to outright aggression, had cemented in me the need to keep my newly-discovered nature hidden.

“I’m trying, but I don’t want to look like this.”

“And you won’t. Not permanently. We’re going to shift you back, right here, right now, as soon as you calm down enough to be in control, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Do you want me to helpmakeyoucalm down? I can use my alpha bark.”

I shake my head. “No. No, just… just give me five minutes.”

“Okay. You tell me what you need, baby. I’m right here. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

I nod again, taking another deep breath, sinking into the water until it’s up to my neck, floating my way closer to him. I go to hug him, making another distressed sound as he says, “Careful,” and ducks his head out of the way of one of these fuckingthingsstuck to me.

“Shh, baby, you’re okay, let me hold you like this,” he murmurs, helping me move carefully until I’m straddling him, my head tilted to the side over his shoulder so that the antlers don’t catch. They’re not huge, but they could definitely poke out an eye, and I’m horrified by the thought.

“I feel like a freak.”

“I turn into a wolf, and I turn into a werewolf. Am I a freak to you?”

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