Page 45 of Sin of the Saints

“Indeed, we meet again,” he replies, and the serpent of light swims around me, surrounding me.

“I—”

“I know what your heart desires!” His voice is thunderous and I’m filled with terror at the thought of having angered Him with my most secret wish.

The serpent of light coils around me and then takes the form of a glowing man, reaching a hand out to me in reconciliation. I lift my trembling hand and combine it with his. His light floods me and I gasp in surprise.

“Your prayers have been heard.” His voice is pleasant and peaceful, and I allow myself to relax.

“But are they worth hearing? Is the prayer of the most damned one worth hearing?”

“All my children deserve my love. Even the lost.”

“But is love not a sin in the eyes of so many of your humans?” I dare to ask.

An incomparably marvelous laugh erupts from the light, and I’m flooded with sublime happiness. “All I asked is for them to love each other. Love thy neighbor as thyself1.”

My heart grows and I smile as though I’m mesmerized at the sight of Him. Before I can give in to the serenity, He caresses my cheek and says: “Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,they will cease; where there are tongues,they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away2.”

“What does that mean?”

“That my love is pure as it is. Those who deign to interpret it are doomed to sin against it and lose their way.”

“As Lilith sinned…” My voice dies away. I clear my throat and heat spreads from my neck in shame, having acknowledged the sins of the one I bear within me.

“You’ve caused me no small amount of trouble, Lilith,” He addresses her, and I’m worried by the tone with which He says her name. “And your children, like mine, cause us problems. I gave them my scripture, my laws, yet it is human nature to forget them, and me. Again and again, every human chosen to bear the Word begins an affair with an ending set in stone.”

“Set in stone…” I repeat his words. “Are we destined to fight forever?” My voice is so small, and I lower my eyes as though seeking to disappear.

The light lifts his hand and takes my chin, forcing me to look at Him. “War means destruction. You seek to destroy my creation while I offer you redemption,” he says. “Humans are evil, but I have faith in them, as I always have had in you.”

“Tell me what to do!” I implore Him. “Why did you give me your power? Tell me!”

“If I do, what will be your lesson? If I promise you a place in the Garden of Eden, you’ll sin frivolously.”

My mouth hangs open. Is he accusing me of being frivolous? “Have I not been punished enough?”

“You have yet to complete the punishment I placed upon you.”

“What more will you bring down on me that I don’t already know?”

His hand brushes across my cheek and moves down my face to the collar around my neck. With a light touch I hear the lock opening, and I gasp as my lungs suddenly yearn for air. I have to hold my breath, lest I drown. My vision goes blurry and I kick out to ascend past the water line. I breathe the world’s air and a single word echoes in my mind – acceptance.

Before I can ponder its meaning, or the emptiness I feel opening up within me, Ellis’ blue eyes appear before me. I can’t shake off the shock as he smiles and says: “And the Word is forgiveness.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Hillel

All the air leaves my lungs as Lilith rises above the surface of the water. So many years, so many incarnations, and for the first time I know what true fear is.

Ellis leans over to her and whispers something, I can’t make it out but Lilith’s expression turns my stomach.

“Aren’t you going to intervene?” Naama whispers at my side, and I hush her, lest she give away our hiding place. We may be well-concealed behind the ferns, but angels have sharp hearing.

Ellis pulls her out of the water and I grimace. Lilith isn’t fighting him. He caresses her face and pushes her long black hair away from her face. Damn it, the collar’s gone and she still isn’t fighting him. What’s going on here? She lowers her gaze submissively and I almost choke as I realize she’s wrapping her naked body in her two wings, which have turned pure white. Has she been purified? How is that possible?

What’s in that water? I look down at the shoreline and pull back. An ill feeling tells me something’s wrong with that water.

---