Page 27 of Love You Madly

“Tea, huh? I guess I can tolerate that,” I joked, but it didn’t land.

As dinner arrived, we both made attempts at polite conversation, but the connection just wasn’t there. She was kind, smart, and attractive, but there was no spark. I was somewhere else, my thoughts adrift, and I think she sensed it too.

When she suggested a movie after dinner, I hesitated. I didn’t want to keep forcing something that wasn’t working.

“And you feel obligated because we made plans, but super awkward because this whole thing’s been weird, and you’ve probably thought about bailing more than once?” Heather said, breaking into my thoughts.

I blinked in surprise, then laughed. “Yeah, nailed it.”

Heather nods, looking relieved. “Oh, thank God! Look, Owen, I know that you’re just starting to date again and I think that maybe we are just at different points. It seems like you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself and I was really hoping for something more laid back and fun.”

I nod, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. “I completely understand. I’m sorry if I seem a bit off tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a date, and I guess I was just overthinking things.”

Heather smiles sympathetically. “No worries, Owen. It happens to the best of us. I’m sure you’ll find someone who’s the right fit for you.”

As we go to part ways outside of Monica’s, a thought occurs to me, “Hey Heather, at the risk of making tonight even more awkward, I have a question.”

She smiles, “Go for it.”

“Well, you mentioned that you were hoping for something more fun, right?”

She nods, hesitantly.

“It’s just that… Well, do you remember the two guys that were with me at the bar last week?”

Her smile beams almost instantly.

“One of them–the blond–is my younger brother and probably more your speed. Mind if I give him your number?”

thirteen

SHE WILL BE LOVED - MAROON 5

CALLIE - MAY 23, 2013

With only a few hours left in our trip, Taylor cranks up a family road-trip classic—Hanson’sSnowed Inalbum. It’s a bizarre choice for an eighty-five-degree day at the end of May, but it doesn’t matter. We’re belting out Christmas carols like it’s the middle of December, not caring that we’re sweating under the hot sun. The windows are down, and the wind whips through my hair, carrying away the heat of the afternoon. For a while, I let myself get lost in the rhythm of the music, my voice blending with Taylor’s in a way that feels effortless, familiar, like we’re those two carefree girls again, road-tripping without a worry in the world.

As we laugh through the final chorus of “What Christmas Means to Me,” I feel a stitch in my side from all the singing. I let my voice trail off, leaning back in my seat to catch my breath, and the reality of everything begins to creep back in—the growing weight of my belly, the uncomfortable tightness of myclothes. I shift in my seat, suddenly aware of the contrast between this fleeting moment of joy and the heavier, more complicated reality that’s waiting for me when the music stops.

Taylor seems to sense the change in my energy, her voice fading as she lowers the volume on the stereo. There’s a beat of silence, the kind that only happens between people who know each other well enough to feel when something shifts beneath the surface.

“We’ve still got it,” Taylor says with a grin, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye.

I laugh, shaking my head. “Yeah, but I’m not sure my lungs can handle it like they used to. I feel like an out-of-shape Santa Claus over here.”

“Cutest Santa ever!” Taylor giggles, her eyes twinkling amusement. I can’t help but smile at her playful tone. After a moment, she sighs, her fingers tapping absently on the steering wheel. “I’ve missed this, you know?” she says, her voice almost nostalgic. “Just us, singing our hearts out like nothing else matters. Adam never really let you talk to me when you were together. There was always something more important he needed you for when I tried to call.”

My heart sinks a little at her words. She’s not wrong. My relationship with Adam isolated me from almost everyone unless he was able to find the person useful. A part of me feels like I’m still mending my relationship with my sister after a falling out she and I had thanks to Adam and her ex not getting along. “I’ve missed you too, Taylor,” I assure her. “I’m sorry for everything.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” she says. “Just… don’t disappear on me again, okay?”

“Sisters over misters,” I say, holding up my pinkie. Taylor smiles softly, reaching over to loop her little finger in mine. Welean toward one another, pressing our fists together to lock in our promise, just like we’ve done since we were kids.

For a moment, the mood feels lighter, but when she glances back at me, her expression grows more serious. She turns her attention back to the road, her grip on the wheel tightening just a little. “I just don’t want you to lose yourself, Callie. You deserve to be happy.”

Her words catch me off guard, and I shift uncomfortably in my seat, not sure how to respond. It’s like she’s saying what I’ve been too afraid to admit to myself. I clear my throat, searching for the right words. “I’m getting there,” I finally say, though it feels like a half-truth. “It’s only been six weeks since I found out Adam was messing around with Janelle and that stupid FlameFinder profile of his.”

Taylor gives me a mischievous look, her mood lightening again. “Speaking of which, did you ever delete that profile you made to catch his attention?”

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