Page 67 of Love You Madly

As the month ends, Owen’s texts become less frequent. At first, I don’t think much of it—he’s busy, I’m busy. Life happens. But when days go by without a word, the silence becomes unbearable. I send a casual message, trying to keep it light, but the anxiety creeps in.

Me:

Hey, Owen… Haven’t heard from you in a bit. Hope everything’s okay. Miss talking to you. Could really use a friend right now.

No response.

After three days of not hearing from him, I’m pissed.

Me:

I wish you would at least have the decency to tell me what’s going on. If you’re with Karissa now and can’t talk, I get it. But just say that.

Still nothing. It hurts more than I expect, but I try to push the feelings aside. Maybe it is for the best. Owen is far away, and I need to focus on what is in front of me. Annoyed as I am by his silence, I still find myself checking my phone more often than I care to admit.

What the fuck, Owen?

twenty-six

PAYPHONE - MAROON 5 FEAT. WHIZ KHALIFA

OWEN - JUNE 17, 2013

As I walk through the front door, I kick off my boots and drop my keys onto the table, the clink of metal echoing through the apartment like a dull reminder of how empty the place feels without Barrett here. The day has been long—too long—and all I can think about is a hot shower to wash away the grime, followed by a cold beer. I pat my pockets, expecting to find my phone, but come up empty.

"Damn it," I mutter, my mind already spinning. I check the counter where I usually toss it, then my tool bag, even though I’ve never put it there before. No luck. My phone is missing, and the knot in my stomach tightens as I realize I probably left it at the hospital. We spent the day chasing down steam leaks all over the place, and who knows where it could’ve fallen.

I head downstairs to my mom’s apartment, hoping she’s home. A sinking feeling settles in when there’s no answer at her door. The frustration I’ve been holding in all day bubbles up, and I scribble a note asking to borrow her phone when shegets back. "I’ll just deal with it tomorrow," I tell myself, but the nagging thoughts won’t quit.

I send Sabrina an email from my laptop, explaining the situation as best I can, feeling the frustration mount. No phone until payday means she’ll have to get a hold of my mom if she or Barrett need anything. It’s a small issue, but it eats at me.

The next morning, my mom knocks at my door, concern written across her face as she hands me her phone. “Everything okay, Owen?” she asks, her worry tugging at the edges of her voice.

“Yeah, just lost my phone at work,” I say, trying to act like I’m not as bothered as I am. “I need to check in with Sabrina.”

After calling to let her know what’s going on, I hand the phone back. The drive to the hospital is silent, the usual light banter between Mom and me replaced by the heavy weight of losing pictures that are irreplaceable–two years of pictures of Barrett, precious moments I hadn’t thought to back up.

The hospital offers no solution either. I scour every corner, check the lost and found, even leave a note in the staff room. Nothing. It’s like the damn thing vanished. Running into Karissa in the cafeteria only adds salt to the wound when she makes a snide comment about me apparently ghosting her. After I explain the situation, she apologizes, but I can see the disappointment in her eyes.

The worst part, though, is Callie. Without my phone, I’ve lost the only way to contact her. I didn’t even think to get her last name before she deleted her FlameFinder profile. Her absence bothers me in ways I didn’t expect. It’s only been a few days, but I already miss the easy conversation, her laugh, and the way she seemed to make everything feel lighter.

By Friday, I’ve saved enough for a new phone. The excitement of getting it quickly fades when I realize none of my old text messages come through. It's like I’m starting my life overwithout half of it. I input the phone numbers I can remember—Mom, Dad, Sabrina, Will. As I pull out the napkin with Karissa’s number, I feel a twinge of guilt. I’ve been seeing her, but my thoughts are still stuck on Callie.

Even though Karissa’s right here, physically present, something about this feels like I’m settling. The realization hits hard—Callie’s not even an option anymore, and I missed my chance.

Sabrina and Mom try to help by sending me pictures of Barrett from their phones, but it’s not the same. Those aren’t my moments. They’re not the memories I had captured—the ones that meant something to me. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, knowing they’re gone for good.

That evening, Karissa suggests a camping trip with her friends. The idea of getting away—unplugging from everything—sounds like a perfect escape. Maybe I need this. Maybe I need to throw myself into something else and let go of the things I can’t control.

The drive out to the campsite is filled with the excited chatter of Karissa and her friends, the anticipation of a weekend in the great outdoors making the miles fly by. When we finally arrive, the beauty of the place takes my breath away. The campsite is nestled in a clearing surrounded by tall pine trees, their needles forming a soft carpet underfoot. The air is crisp and clean, and I feel a sense of peace that has been missing for a while.

Karissa’s group of friends is large and lively, making the campsite buzz with energy. There’s Josh and his girlfriend, Emily, who are inseparable and always seem to be laughing atsome inside joke. Tyler and Bayleigh are the on-again, off-again couple who seem to thrive on the drama of their relationship. Then there’s Jenna, who’s single and more interested in her phone than the people around her. Rounding out the group are Nate and Derek. Derek’s laid back attitude makes him easy to get along with but I have a feeling Nate is a different story. He’s the kind of guy who seems to think he’s the life of the party, but his constant side-glances at Karissa and his smug grin start to rub me the wrong way.

At first, all is well. Karissa is in high spirits, laughing and joking with her friends as we pass around beer and roast marshmallows over the fire. The light from the flames dances in her eyes, and for a moment, I start to believe that maybe this could work. Maybe I can let go of the past and focus on what’s right in front of me.

We spend the evening swapping stories and laughing as the flames flicker and crackle in the darkness. Josh and Emily are cuddled up together, whispering and giggling, while Tyler and Bayleigh are deep in some sort of trivial debate about whether it’s pronounced “s’mores” or “schmores.” Bayleigh’s insistence on the latter has Tyler in stitches, and their playful bickering adds to the lighthearted mood.

Jenna sits on the edge of the circle, scrolling through her phone, occasionally chiming in with a sarcastic comment that makes everyone laugh. At one point, she looks up and deadpans, “So, who’s ready for a frolic in the woods?” There’s a pause before everyone bursts out laughing, especially when she follows up with, “Seriously, though, I’m staying in the tent after dark. You guys can get eaten by bears or ghosts or serial killers or whatever.”

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