Page 50 of Love You Madly

I want to scream. But I bite my tongue, knowing that causing a scene won’t do anyone any good.

Adam lingers for a while, talking to some of the other guests, showing off the gifts he bought like he’s some kind of hero. All but one of the toys he bought are things she won’t be able to use for years because they are too old for her. But I don’t say anything. I try to focus on Sara, who is blissfully unaware of the tension around her. She’s sitting in her high chair, giggling as Brooke hands her the top tier of the birthday cake which serves as her “smash cake.”

Adam gets ready to leave as soon as Sara is done with her cake–leaving me to clean up the mess, like always. I hear him make a comment to my mom about how it’s his new girlfriend Katie’s birthday too so he has dinner plans.

Yep, it’s only been a couple days since Janelle dumped him and Adam already has a new girlfriend. I would bet my left kidney that he was already talking to Katie while he was dating Janelle. He always seems to have a backup plan when it comes to relationships.

By the time the party winds down, I’m exhausted. I pack up the leftover food and the mountain of gifts, making a mental note to sort through everything later. Taylor and Brooke help me clean up, while my mom and Wayne take Sara and Ava to the playground for a bit longer.

Once everything is packed up, I stand in the now-empty pavilion, taking a deep breath. The day didn’t go exactly as planned, but as I watch Sara toddle over to me, her face still smeared with cake and her eyes shining with happiness, I know that it was still a success. The day was for her, and in the end, that’s all that matters.

twenty

USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON

OWEN - JUNE 2, 2013

The soft hum of the apartment’s air conditioning fills the space as Barrett pushes his toy cars across the living room floor, his quiet giggles cutting through the otherwise still afternoon. I watch him from the couch, eyes lingering on the small smile stretching across his face. These moments should feel like a blessing. They do—usually. But today, even as Barrett plays, I can't help feeling distracted, like my mind is walking a tightrope between being present here and drifting somewhere else entirely.

Callie's face swims into my thoughts again. I replay our conversation from Friday—how I told her we needed to just be friends. She took it well. Almost too well, and that bothers me. Maybe I thought... hell, maybe I wanted her to fight me on it. To show that she felt the instant connection that I felt. But she didn't.

I glance over at Barrett, who’s making little engine soundsas he pushes his cars in circles. His world is simple. I wish mine still was.

The apartment feels heavy, despite the cool air. Barrett's laughter pulls me back for a moment, and I smile at him. It's a bittersweet reminder—no matter what's going on in my head, he's always right here, grounding me. But even that thought feels fragile today.

After tucking Barrett into bed that evening, I collapse onto the couch, exhaustion pressing down on me. The stillness of the apartment, once comforting, now feels oppressive. My phone buzzes, and I instinctively reach for it, grateful for the distraction.

Callie:

I’m so sorry for bothering you, I know you have Barrett. I just need to vent. So if you have fifteen texts by the time you see this, forgive me.

I can't help but smile at her message, the familiar warmth stirring in my chest. There's something in the way she always apologizes for things even though she doesn’t need to. As much as I would like to believe it’s her way of being polite, I cannot help but feel like her constant need to apologize is because others have made her feel like a burden.

Me:

It’s okay, you have good timing, actually. I just put Barrett to bed for the night.

Her response comes quickly, and I can almost hear the exasperation in her voice as I read the text.

Callie:

You won’t believe what happened at Sara’s birthday party today.

Me:

What’s up? Are you okay?

I lean back against the couch, feeling a twinge of concern.

Callie:

My ex showed up with a mountain of expensive gifts for Sara. He wasn’t even invited.

I frown, anger simmering beneath the surface. I've never met the guy, but from everything Callie's told me, he has a knack for making things difficult.

Me:

Seriously? That’s messed up.

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