Page 134 of Love You Madly

Luke’s eyes go wide and there’s a moment of silence, like he’s processing my answer. “Don’t say that shit around Heather,” he pleads. “We’ve been seeing each other for longer and I’m not ready forthatconversation.”

“Scares the shit out of you, doesn’t it?” Vince asks me.

“Honestly, not as much as I thought it would,” I admit. “I didn’t think that I was ever going to find this again after what happened with Sabrina. But I’m glad I started using FlameFinder again. I probably have Luke to thank for that.”

Vince smiles, leaning back. “Good for you, man. Zoe and I, we’ve had our ups and downs, but she keeps me grounded. I think that’s what it’s about–finding someone who wants you to be better.”

Will speaks up, “I think it’s more about finding someone who makes you want to be better.”

“That’s what Vince said,” Luke says, confused.

Will shakes his head. “No, man. It’s about wanting to be the best man you can be for the woman you love. Not about the woman you love trying to change you.”

We all let that sink in for a moment. Will might be the only single one left in the group, but he’s still hit on something so real. It’s not about someone pushing you to change–it’s about wanting to be the best version of yourself for the person you love.

I look at my friends, at the house Callie and I have turned into our home and realize just how lucky I am. “That’s it exactly. Callie’s never asked me to change. Because of her, I want to be better. For her, for the kids… and for myself.”

Luke raises his beer in a small toast. “To finding the ones who make us better, whether we’re ready for it or not.”

We clink our bottles together, a shared understanding between us. He might not be in a relationship now, but we all know it’s only a matter of time before he finds someone too. One of these days, his disaster dates will have to turn into something more.

As the night winds down and the guys head out, I stand in the doorway. I pull my phone out, sending a quick text to Callie:

Me:

Hope you’re having a good time, dollface. I love you.

Callie:

I love you more.

I laugh at her ludicrous message. I’m convinced no one could love someone else more than I love thisgirl. I close the door before deciding to head to the shower while I wait for Callie to get home so I can show her just how much I love her.

Me:

Not possible.

Callie:

Yes, possible.

fifty-nine

I CHOOSE YOU - SARA BAREILLES

CALLIE - SEPTEMBER 27, 2013

It’s been a good day spent with Brooke and Taylor. As we stroll through the rows of craft booths, the smell of cinnamon and freshly brewed coffee fills the air. The sun warms my skin and I take in the simplicity of the moment.

As I look at a display of funny signs that say things like “If I stirred it, it’s Homemade,” my phone buzzes in my back pocket. I expect it to be a picture of Sara from my mom who is watching her or maybe a message from Owen. Instead, when I glance at the screen, my stomach twists. It’s not them. It’s Matt.

I stare at his name for a second on my screen and I contemplate not opening the message at all but curiosity gets the best of me.

Matt:

Callie, I think I made a mistake. I love you. I have since we were kids. Please don’t shut me out. I’ll break things off with her if you just give me another chance.

The message catches me completely off-guard because I haven’t heard from him in months and when we were exploring getting back together, he hadn’t told me he loved me then.

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