Page 10 of Love You Madly

Mom and I lived together for over six months, but a smaller unit became available in our building, so she moved. I’m now riding out the last few months on the lease and will decide where to go when it’s up in June. The landlord agreed to let me stay month-to-month until someone expresses interest in the apartment.

I walk to the living room, where the early morning light casts long shadows across the floor. The photos on the mantle catch my eye – pictures of Barrett at various stages of his young life, smiling and carefree. My goal is to be back in Cedar Bluff permanently around the time Barrett gets to kindergarten but I’m not sure if I will be able to because of work. I pick up one of the frames, tracing the outline of his face with my thumb. Setting the frame back down, I sip my coffee, trying to shake off the lingering unease from the dream.

Shortly after six in the morning, I grab my phone and see a text from Sabrina, probably about the weekend plans for Barrett. We’ve managed to keep things amicable for his sake, a small mercy I don’t deserve in the aftermath of our split. I open the message.

Sabrina:

Morning. Barrett wants to know if you can take him to the park later. We’re free after 10 if that works for you.

A small smile tugs at my lips. Apparently, I wasn’t the only early bird this morning. He’d probably been awake since before I was. I type back a quick response.

Me:

Of course. I’ll pick him up at 10:30. Tell him I’m looking forward to it.

Sabrina:

Will do. Thanks, Owen.

Feeling a bit more grounded, I finish my coffee then head to the shower, letting the hot water wash away the remnants of the dream. I grab my keys, wallet, and phone, and head out the door for the drive to Cedar Bluff.

The drive to Sabrina’s is familiar, the route etched into my memory after countless trips. The rolling countryside of Iowa passes by, the fields of corn and soybeans stretching out to the horizon. The drive helps me think and mentally prepare for the day. I pull into Sabrina’s just before ten-thirty and park the car.

I reach to knock on the door just as it swings open, and I am greeted with my son’s wide grin, his excitement palpable.

“Daddy!” he exclaims, throwing himself into my arms. I scoop him up and hug him tightly, feeling the weight of the world lift slightly with his embrace.

“Hey, buddy,” I say, setting him down. “Ready for the park?”

He nods enthusiastically, and we head out. Sabrina waves from the doorway, a small smile on her face. We’ve made a lot of progress since our divorce, but we still have a long way to go in terms of a healthy co-parenting relationship. Her call to pick him up on a non-designated day feels like progress.

We spend the next few hours at the park, Barrett running around and playing while I keep a watchful eye. His laughter fills the air, a soothing balm for my restless mind. At lunchtime, we head to a local ice cream shop and share some lemon ice cream. His face lights up with every bite, and I can’t help but smile at his joy.

Afterward, we stop by my dad’s house. Dad opens the door, his eyes lighting up when he sees us.

“Papa Henry!” Barrett shouts, running to him.

My dad crouches down and scoops Barrett into a hug, lifting him off the ground. “Hey there, champ! I’ve missed you,” he says, ruffling Barrett’s hair.

Barrett giggles, wrapping his arms around Dad’s neck. “I missed you too, Grandpa. Look, I brought my new toy car!”

Dad chuckles and sets Barrett down gently. “Well, let’s go see how fast that car can go, shall we?”

We step inside, and I’m immediately struck by how different the house looks. It’s the same house I grew up in, but Beverly’s touch is everywhere–new furniture, fresh paint, and different photos on the walls. Among the photos on the wall are a picture of me and my stepbrother Luke at Dad and Beverly’s wedding. We were more than a little drunk and had the orange slices from our beers covering our teeth to make huge smiles–it’s one of my favorite pictures.

“Come on in, make yourselves at home,” Henry says,leading us into the living room. Beverly is in the kitchen, and she comes out to greet us, wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

“Hello, Owen. Hi there, Barrett!” she says warmly, bending down to give Barrett a hug. “I just baked some cookies. Would you like one?”

Barrett nods eagerly, and she laughs, ruffling his hair. “Let’s get you a cookie, then.”

We spend the afternoon there, talking and catching up. Dad and Barrett play with some toys in the living room while I watch, feeling a sense of peace I haven’t felt in a long time. Dad gets down on the floor with Barrett despite having had a knee replacement not too long ago. They build a fort out of couch cushions and blankets. Barrett’s giggles fill the room as they crawl inside and pretend it’s a secret hideout.

I look around the living room, noticing some of the more recent changes Beverly has made. The house feels brighter, more eclectic, but it still holds echoes of my childhood.

Beverly and I sit at the dining table, sipping iced tea. “How have you been, Owen?” she asks, her eyes kind and concerned.

“I’ve been okay,” I reply. “Work’s been busy. I’m pretty close to the number of hours that I need to complete my apprenticeship so I’m looking forward to that. I’m still trying to figure out where I’ll be living long-term. But things are good with Barrett, and that’s what matters most.”

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