Page 53 of The Pretty Psycho

He was an enemy.

He was someone I needed to hate.

He represented one of my biggest failures, and that failure had nothing to do with my mission or The Schatten. That failure had everything to do with falling for a man from this world, when I promised myself I would get away from this all and live a normal life.

But did I even know what normal was anymore? Would I really be able to go out there and pretend that this part of my life had never happened?

I was still far too young to know everything I wanted to do, but… Did I really want to run from all of this? Yes, this world of ours was fucked up, but it was the only thing I had ever known. Would I really be able to go somewhere far from here and act as if I wasn't a professional killer for most of my life?

Adrian twirled his finger around a strand of my hair, playing with it while I clung to him, pondering over all the options.

"I don't want you to hide yourself from me, Bambi," he murmured, looking at his finger wrapped around my hair instead of at me. "I don't want you to feel like you're suffocating with me either, but I don't know how to let you go. I've tried. I really, really tried, but it was futile fighting what I feel for you. I can't promise that things will always be perfect, because they won't be." He looked at me this time. "But we can try. I can try to share things with you and all I'm asking in return is for you to give me the benefit of a doubt. I have a lot to repent for, butyou're no saint either." He chuckled. "You did come here to kill me."

"Ugh," I groaned. "Don't fucking remind me. You've ruined all my plans." He laughed softly, wrapping his arms around my middle.

"How about I ruin them some more, huh?" I narrowed my eyes at him, not liking where this was going. "Come back with me. Come back to the cabin." There was so much hope shining in those dark depths, but my resistance to the idea of us still didn't go anywhere.

"And what if I don't want to?"

"Well." He grinned. "We’re either going to the cabin, or we’re staying here and Yolanda can stay there. You can hate me, yell at me, try to even kill me, but you're not sleeping anywhere else but with me."

Inch by inch, he had pushed his way inside my heart, completely oblivious to the turmoil every single one of his words had created in me. But maybe he was right. Maybe I needed to give this a chance.

Yolanda's words from earlier came back to haunt me, and I didn't want to be a coward. I didn't want to live my life filled with fear, just because something new was coming my way.

"Fine," I grumbled. "I'll come with you. But on one condition."

"Which is?"

How could I voice it without sounding too weak? How did I tell him that what I saw in his look was what triggered me?

"I don't want your pity, Adrian." He frowned at that. "I don't want you to look at me as if I'm fragile. I don't like it."

"Vega." He brought his hand to my cheek, making me look at him. "Baby," he murmured. "I'm not pitying you and I don't think you're fragile. Do I think you're gonna need to take it slowly until you're fully recovered? Absolutely. But I don't thinkyou're fragile. I would never. Is that what all of this is about?" he asked, searching my eyes. "You thought I was pitying you."

"Yes?" I cringed, seeing now how messy I’d made everything to be, by imagining things.

"I was worried about you, yes, but it wasn't a pity." He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "My God, Vega." Those brilliant, dark eyes opened, filled with annoyance. "I've spent hours going over every single thing you've said, trying to figure out what went wrong in the span of minutes, and all this time it was because you misunderstood my question?"

I blinked and blinked some more, seeing that he definitely had a point. But rational thoughts weren't part of the equation, and I'd needed a breather from everything. I thought I could handle being immersed in all the plans from the get-go, but I was wrong. I was pushing myself far too much and far too soon, something had to give.

Even my strength had its limits, and I'd definitely reached mine when I got into a fight with him.

"You deserve a spanking," he grumbled, pinching my thigh and making me yelp. "A hundred percent."

"Hey," I murmured. "That hurt."

He looked at me, his brow furrowing. "Not nearly as much as my heart hurt a couple of hours ago. But it's okay," he chuckled, "you'll make it up to me."

I was afraid to even ask. "How?"

"By coming back to the cabin and letting me show you something." He stood up, putting me down on the floor. "It's time for you to learn more about my family."

And just like that, without a big fight, without any trepidation, he grabbed my arm and led me out of the room, humming a song I didn’t recognize the entire time we walked toward his cabin, stealing another piece of my heart when he took off his coat, draping it over me.

I had no idea what it said about me that such a simple gesture could get my heart to thunder in my chest, but I wasn't questioning it. Maybe I needed to learn to let go instead of constantly trying to think of the ways things could go wrong.

17

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