Page 76 of In a Pinch

“So, Mom ripped his ass, huh? Worse than our last family dinner?” The thought brings a smile to my face.

Cal’s features light up. “I’m not even exaggerating when I say it was the best day of my life. I was so pissed then, but watching Dad cower was pretty nice. I wish I had a picture of his face. It would heal all of our collective childhood traumas.” The lighthearted sentence strikes a chord with me.

Damn, I’ve kind of been a selfish asshole in this. Actually, we all have been, but not intentionally. We were all just dealing with the cards of our shitty deck. Regret and remorse wash through me at all the time I’ve lost by being bitter instead of just talking about it. Why am I such a freaking idiot sometimes?

“So, are we good?” He holds his hand out for me to shake, and it reminds me of a couple months ago, when he tried to go for a hug, but I was being a dick and shut him down. If we’re going to move on, I need to try, too.

Grabbing his hand, I pull and then drop it to lift my arms around him. Cal stiffens around my hug before returning it. Fora second, it feels like we're kids again, and all I need in the world is my big brother to make shit okay.

I let go. Because all these emotions make me feel icky, and there’s been enough of that in the last twenty-four hours.

“We’re good.” While it will take time for the last couple years of bullshit to fade, we’re on good terms for the first time in forever.

“All right. Now, let’s get back to why I came.”

Fuck. Here I thought I was done having to share my feelings.

“This impromptu visit is starting to feel like an interrogation about my feelings. We know I don’t do feelings. It’s too Doctor Phil-y.” I motion to the chairs, so we can settle in. If I’m being forced to share my feelings, I can at least be comfortable while doing it.

He shoots me a wide grin. “Well, good news. There are no cameras. So, you can cry as much as you want to.” I punch his arm and he laughs.

“So, what happened?” The fucker really isn’t dropping it.

A sigh leaves me as I tilt my head back. “She was ashamed of me. Maybe not intentionally, but she was. She didn’t fucking tell Isla. Like, what is so wrong with me that you can love me, but not want your closest friend to know?”

“She could have just been waiting to make sure it was the real deal. If I had to guess, she was worried she was going to fuck it up. Even if she did it for the wrong reasons, you’re going to have to learn that the people we love make mistakes, too. She may be perfect in your eyes, but she’s still human. Give her the grace you would want if this was you.”

His words ring true. My mind goes through all the conversations she and I have had, and I think back to Valentine’s Day, with her at the bar and where her head was at. I guess I just assumed she was doing better. She seemed happier. Hell, I know I’ve been happier since her. But the thing about doubt is, itfesters and is hard as hell to let go of. That’s a feeling I’m all too familiar with. Maybe I was a little too harsh.

We sit in comfortable silence for a second, while I get ahold of my thoughts. “So, where do we go from here?” If someone would have told me yesterday that I would be asking my brother for relationship advice, I would have thought they were high.

“That’s for you to decide; I can’t make those calls for you. Listen to your gut. You know her better than I do.”

“Super helpful. Thank you.” But it is, because my gut knows exactly what it wants to do. I fucking miss her already and it’s only been hours. The thought of having to miss her the rest of my life feels crippling.

“Well, I’m not actually Dr. Phil. So, don’t expect so much. Now, eat your bagel and drink your coffee. You look like shit.”

First, I flip him the bird, and then I do as told because I am starving.

“Worst therapist ever.” I smirk as I bring my coffee to my lips.

“The other part of the reason I was coming is to see if you wanted to be a groomsman. I didn’t want to ask through text, and you ignored all my calls.” His disdain rings through his voice and I can’t help but feel a bit guilty.

My eyes go wide. “Seriously? You want me to be up there with you?” Warmth travels across my chest and I feel my eyes burn.

Cal smiles and pats my shoulder. “Yeah, you’ve always been my brother, whether it was against your will or not. I’d love to have you up there. I know you hate people and attention. So, I won’t be offended if you say no.”

I swallow to hide the emotion balling in my throat. “Of course. I’d be honored.” There’s more I want to say, but crying like a little bitch in front of my big brother is the last thing I want to do today.

Cal nods with a smile. “Great. Are you sure you’re doing okay? I can hang around a while if you want some company or to talk?”My head starts shaking by the end because I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Too much has gone on in the last day, and I need a minute to catch my breath.

He responds with a nod of his head and taps the table twice. “Well, I’m going to run. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to call or stop by.”

“I’ll do that.”

We start standing and I make my way to the door to let him out. He gives me a quick pat on the back before he starts down the hall.

“Hey, Cal?”

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