Page 77 of In a Pinch

“Yeah?” He turns on his heels, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I’m sorry, too.” I’m coming to realize none of us were innocent in our fallouts. His words echo around in my head. Even those that love you are going to fuck up. Guess it wasn’t too late for a big brother pep talk, after all.

“It’s all water under the bridge, little brother.” His warm smile lets me know he means it. Before turning back around and heading out, he points at me. “You should call Liv. Mom and I aren’t the only ones who miss you. And she deserves the truth.”

“Yeah. I’ll do that.”

We wave again, and for the first time in a long time, I feel that piece of me settle. The one that felt left out and like never enough. I revel in that for a second before pulling out my phone. It appears today will be full of mending bridges.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Addie

The sound of the front door closing shakes me from sleep and I peel my eyelids open. The exhaustion weighs heavy on them. I feel no more rested than I did when Cal woke us up this morning. I’d dozed off again, hoping to feel a bit more rested before starting my apology tour, but I don’t feel more rested. In fact, it feels like I used sand as saline. I think I slept a whole seven minutes last night, and that’s being generous. Sam’s face played in my head like a movie, over and over.

But enough wallowing. It’s Get My Boyfriend Back Day.

Rolling off the couch, I make my way to the bathroom. Flicking on the light, I almost jump at my reflection. My eyes look as shitty as they feel. Blotchy redness covers them, and they’re sopuffy, I might as well have slept on a pillow of pollen. Geez Louise. Won’t be winning anyone back by looking like a zombie.

A splash of water on my face makes me feel just a little bit more alive.

The smell of coffee wafts through. Freaking Cal must’ve made coffee before we kicked him out for breathing too loud in the kitchen. Actually, what day is it? It’s Saturday, right?

Going back to the living room, I pop my phone off my charger. It’s 6:30 in the morning. Seriously, what kind of hardware was Cal born with that he’s just up at this hour? I say a silent prayer for Isla because she’s stuck with this for the rest of her life, and she sleeps in more than I do.

I tiptoe through the kitchen and grab a cup out of the cupboard, pouring myself some coffee. Cal even left the creamer out on the counter. What a guy. These Reynolds boys are something else. Fuck, I hope I didn’t lose mine. Telling myself I’m an idiot again will not help. The guilt still fills me, but today, we’re doing something about it. No wallowing. No self-induced pity party. We’re on the uphill slope of getting my shit together. But first, I need to finish this cup of coffee.

Sitting at this island feels all too familiar. Sipping my coffee, I run through my game plan and force myself to wake up.

Once I’m decently caffeinated, I shake Isla awake. We had a girls night on the couch, and I’m sure her sleep was as restful as mine.

“Hey, I’m going to head home. I’ll call you later.”

She peels one eye open, and if looks could kill, I’d be deader than an opossum on the side of the road in Texas.

“Don’t give me that look. You know you would have chewed my ass if I left without saying goodbye. Beggers can’t be choosers. Now, go back to bed and sleep the bitchy away.”

“Whatever. Love you. Good luck. Call me if you need anything.”

I’m barely able to decipher her words through the pillow muffling everything. Well, at least she didn’t tell me to fuck off.

A deep sigh rattles through me as I sit in my car. My heart hurts and my head aches from the lack of sleep. There’s a lot of wishes going through my head, but honestly, this proves to me how badly I want to be with Sam.

I’ve never been the one with the urge to fight and hold on. If it got tough, good riddance. No one has called to me quite like Sam. He challenges me in the best ways and makes me feel more like myself than I have in months. Perfectly reminding me that I am just fine where I am.

My heart beats rapidly in my chest. Fuck, it’s like I just ran a marathon. My nerves make me feel even more on edge. I’ve tried not to think too much about what I will do if this backfires straight in my face. Maybe I should have gone more all out in this? What if he thinks this was just my lazy way out? But this reminds me of my best memory of him. When everything changed and I felt utter clarity for the first time.

Swinging my purse over my shoulder, I pick up everything else off the counter and turn the knob on the door. A big, deep breath, and I’m out the door.

Except, I’m not. Sam’s hand is raised, ready to knock. Only, the door moved out of the way.

It fills me with a little bit of joy that he looks as terrible as I do. Maybe that means this shit is eating him alive like it is me.

“Hi. I was actually on my way to your place.”

“Ya snooze, ya lose.” A shy smile tugs his lips up.

I go to say something, but for the first time in my life, words fail me. Since when can I not speak? I haven’t ever shut up a minute of my life.

---