Page 79 of Someone to Watch Over Me

“We did. All our friends helped. The hardest part was getting rid of things Jim had loved but would never use again, while he was still alive, like his baseball glove, his hockey skates, the Mustang. That was gut-wrenching. I did it after we’d moved him to my parents’ house so he wouldn’t be there to see it go.”

“That must’ve been awful for you.”

“When I look back at the entire nightmare, that day definitely stands out as one of the roughest. We were dismantling his life while he was still here. One of my friends is a whiz at selling things online. She sold everything and got as much as she could for all of it, which was such a blessing at the time, as we were faced with both of us being out of work.”

“Thank you for sharing that with me. It means a lot to me that you’d trust me with your story.”

“I’d understand if my neurosis and grief are too much to take on.”

“It’s not too much. You know what came through loud and clear to me as you were sharing that?”

“What?”

“How deeply you love the people you care about. How lucky your dad is that you love him so much, you can’t imagine life without him. How lucky Jim was to have a wife who saw to his every need and took tender care of him through a horrific illness. A lot of people would’ve run from that. You never blinked.”

“I did, though. I blinked a lot. There were so many days when I thought I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“But you never ran from it. Not once.”

“Maybe once or twice.”

“Did you always go back?”

“Yeah.”

“Then that doesn’t count as running.”

“I could never have left him for long.”

“The people you love are very lucky, Lexi. I hope you see that.”

“Thank you.”

“I loved having that little peek inside your life with Jim and to know more about him. I keep going back to him memorizing the names of all your kids each year.”

“The first time he did that, I was so shocked. He’d found the printout on my desk and committed it to memory. I think he had their names memorized before I did.”

“That’s the sweetest thing.”

“He’d want me to tell you that he could also be a dick when he wanted to be.”

Tom laughs. “I find that hard to believe.”

“We had some spectacular fights. Mostly because, despite all his fitness, he still liked to drink like he did in college. That drove me mad. I hated it.”

“I can see how that’d be a problem.”

“He never had another sip of alcohol after his diagnosis. The doctors strongly recommended he not drink because that would only make him more prone to falls. He’d been badly injured three times in falls by then, so they didn’t have to tell him that twice. He lost everything, one thing at a time.”

“He never lost you, and I’m sure he’d say you were the most important thing in his life.”

“Yes, he would’ve said that. I never had any doubt that he loved me madly.”

“I hope you have no doubt by now that I do, too.”

“Tom…”

“Maybe this isn’t the right time to say it, but it’s true, Lexi. I love you. I love hearing how much you loved Jim and how sweet your life was with him, and I want you to know that he’ll always be part of whatever you and I are together. He’s part of you, and I love every part of you.”

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