Page 80 of Someone to Watch Over Me

By now, tears are running unchecked down my face as this man who’s been such an extraordinary friend shares his heart with me. “I love you, too.”

“You don’t have to say that just because I did.”

“I never would unless I truly meant it, and I truly do. What you said about Jim being part of us shows me everything I’ll ever need to know about how you understand what it’s like to be involved with a widow.”

“I get it, Lex. He’s as much a part of you as your curly hair and the sweet dimple that shows up right here when you smile big.” He touches his finger to the spot. “He’s in your heart and soul, and I love your heart and soul. I think I’ve loved you since I was eighteen years old.”

“Tom...”

“I never forgot you. I thought about you far more often than I should have, even after I heard you’d gotten married. I wondered what might’ve been different if I’d defied my mother’s orders and asked you out in high school.”

“I probably would’ve wet my pants or something equally embarrassing if you asked me out then.”

That makes him laugh hard. “I think you would’ve held up just fine.”

“I would’ve melted down for sure. Ask any of my high school friends.”

“I’ll do that the next time we see them.”

“They’ll tell you… I would’ve been taken away in an ambulance if you ever even looked at me, let alone talked to me or asked me out.”

“It was like that, was it?”

“Yeah, it was pretty bad.”

“And now? What’s the crush-o-meter reading looking like?”

“Definitely inching toward the danger zone. Some days, I still can’t believe I live with Tom Hammett, that I’m friends with Tom Hammett, that IkissedTom Hammett.”

“You’rebestfriends with Tom Hammett, and he can’t wait to kiss you as much and as often as he possibly can for the rest of his life.”

“That could be a long time.”

“I hope it’s so long that we’re chasing each other around the nursing home someday and causing scandals with our outrageous behavior.”

I lose it laughing at the picture he paints.

“Can I ask you something else?” he says when I quit laughing.

“Sure.”

“Do you want to have kids?”

“Oh man, I used to want them more than anything, but now? I don’t know anymore. After years of intense caregiving, the thought of taking full-time care of anything, even a pet, feels a bit overwhelming to me.”

“That’s fair enough.”

“What about you?”

“I always pictured myself having a family someday, but as I inch closer to forty, I’m not sure I want to be sixty with kids in college.”

“I hear sixty is the new forty.”

“Sure it is. It also means working until I’m seventy to pay for it all.”

“That’s true.”

“But if you were interested, I’d be down for it. I’d never want to deny you something you want.”

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